opinion

A Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape? Egads!

Tom Hymes
The New York Post this morning reported the possible existence of God.

Well, not literally, but certainly figuratively if it is true that a 15-minute, 16-millimeter film exists that shows Marilyn Monroe performing oral sex on a man whose face is obscured.

"An illicit copy of the steamy, still-FBI-classified reel... was just sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million, said Keya Morgan, the well-known memorabilia collector who discovered the film and brokered its purchase," the article reads.

The writer of the story, Hasini Gittens, says that such a sex tape would only continue the "sordid tradition of peddling raunchy video footage of celebrities à la Paris Hilton...," but I would have to disagree with that clearly moral judgment and the ease with which it unifies the various participants throughout history without regard to pedigree.

Set aside the fact that one cannot truly assess the sordid nature of anything without having first seen it, heard it or experienced it. Even if it is sordid, It's Marilyn Monroe, so it can only be so sordid, and maybe it is perfectly sordid.

Because it presumably still is contraband, the footage may only ever get to be seen by a privileged few, but just knowing it's there makes life a little better; sort of like knowing that extraterrestrial life exists because you have had a close encounter, even if no one believes you.

The story also said that Hoover's men exhaustively investigated the "ownership" of the male parts - I wonder if Hoover himself lent a hand - hoping to find them attached to one of the Kennedy brothers, but apparently came up short.

Of course, who but a Kennedy could endure Marilyn for fifteen minutes of unendurable bliss? Mailer? Maybe, he was a novelist. DiMaggio? Baseball player, not a chance. Giancana? Big time mobster, so yeah, maybe. At any rate, the forensic anatomic investigators will have a field day with this one for years to come.

There is a lot more info in the article and to the story, which will surely have legs. Check it out.

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