opinion

Pushing Ninn

Gram Ponante
As a proud black man and America's Only Porn Journalist™, I anticipated the arrival of the trailer for Michael Ninn's upcoming cerebrosmut offering Catherine, starring the testarossa Audrey Hollander, in which Hollander is stalked by Queen Elizabeth I through the house from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Sample dialogue:

AH: Fuck you.

QE1: And what, pray tell, would that accomplish?

AH: Get out of my life!

QE1: Get out of mine.

AH: You bitch!

The trailer is a rough edit of an incomplete film, so perhaps some slack should be cut. Ninn and Hollander went to Budapest this past weekend to shoot the rest. But oh my God. Do people enjoy this stuff?

I think ultra-stylized porn in which paint is watched drying on film is almost as bad as German choking videos, so I look forward to the completed movie in September where, I'm hoping, something actually happens in this The Ring-meets-a Pier 1 Catalog non-thriller.

Let me say again: the movie's not done. I really hope it's better than the trailer.

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