opinion

Are You A Sex Addict?

Stephen Yagielowicz
Calling Internet porn "The crack cocaine of sexual addiction," an outwardly penitent man confessed his sins of the flesh to a worldwide audience last night on ABC's "20/20" news magazine show.

Hosted by Lynn Sherr, the "Addictions and the Internet" segment featured a series of vignettes portraying the broken families and ruined lives that have resulted from the actions of those thoughtless souls who simply could not stop "spanking the monkey" while enjoying the fruits of our industry's labor.

As is typical of ratings-driven, sensationalized mainstream coverage of the adult industry, emphasis is placed on our worst and most "outrageous" elements, such as the criminal depiction of bestiality and the so-called exploitation of "80 year old grandmas" – as if the elderly have no right to sexual expression or satisfaction. Heck, I was far more disturbed by the "in your face" shot of the girl showing off her seriously hairy armpits – a depiction that nearly had me spewing my dinner on the carpet...

The conservatively slanted and heavily biased coverage on this propaganda piece was quite evident as screenshot after screenshot of adult sites was displayed (no doubt to catch the attention of passing "channel surfers") to a background of negative commentary including Sherr's proclamation that "This is child pornography!" while checking out Tawnee Stone's homepage, as well as a few other Lightspeed properties. No doubt Steve was happily surprised at the traffic spike in his stats this morning...

Inaccuracy after inaccuracy was presented in this feature piece, with a lack of journalistic integrity uncharacteristic of such a professional organization.

As is typical of such shows, the devastated family members are brought out to share their pain over their loved ones betrayal. While viewing this cattle collection, my lovely wife Dawn exclaimed "Of course these guys are whacking off to porn! Would YOU wanna fuck any of those awful cows?!!?"

I will present to you here and now that more than any other factor, the reason that most of these consumers are choosing to enjoy legal online (and offline) erotica is due to the fact that their mates are unable to satisfy their needs, or are so hideous and repulsive as to not inspire any sort of sexual desire. Dude's aren't losing their erections due to old age – they're losing them by looking at their wives or lovers. Viagra isn't the answer, a little fantasy is...

And this is one of my main points: What harm is there in a little fantasy? Masturbation is not evil – it's a wholesome release of tension and enjoyable pastime for billions. Married men (and women) who might want a little variety or to vicariously enjoy some forbidden fruit can do so with a click of the mouse, the turn of a page, the pressing of the 'play' button, or by simply closing their eyes to dream a little dream – and they do so without violating their marriage vows, risking disease or emotional complications, and with very little expense...

These same factors come into play for single folks, and indeed for those who are uninterested in relationships. In fact, one of the horrors of Internet pornography portrayed in this show is that people are forgoing relationships because of it. And? The problem with that is??? Believe me, some people shouldn't be in relationships, while others have no need for them...

Consider that due to work or school demands, medical conditions, or simply because you're such a freak that you could never get the girl or guy of your dreams in real life unless you had a wheelbarrow full of cash, that you have the same choices as many married folks: either go without, or have an unsatisfying sex life – or just spank the monkey and call it a day.

Explain to me why "going without" is better than "being satisfied"?

I could go on about this for hours, but the bottom line is that criticizing folks who choose to enjoy a healthy and pleasurable addition to their sex lives, and somehow blaming their choices on an "addiction" – "Hey, I can't help myself, I'm sick!" – serves only to demean people, and attempts to impose a moral or political judgement on an individual's most personal actions. It's a bunch of bullshit – but ignoring the fact that it appears in a respected prime time mainstream show during an election year is something that you do at your own peril. Like it or not, this type of bias focuses public and political opinion against our industry and vilifies us all.

Still, I bet Steve got a little boost in signups last night... Take care ~ Stephen

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