opinion

Counting On Others

It's been said time and again: success in the online adult industry is built upon the personal relationships we build with our peers. But is trusting the operation, profitability, or reputation of your own business to others a wise thing to do?

Whether it's a traffic trade that didn't materialize, a phone call or email that wasn't returned, a sponsor payout that was never received, or any of the million and one other things that we as adult Webmasters are promised – and expect – but never receive; being in this business for any length of time will make you well acquainted with that pesky, nagging emotion: "disappointment." The reason for this all too frequent (and all too frequently unnecessary) disappointment? Having to rely on others...

Let's face it; if we could do it all ourselves, we probably would. As the old saying goes, "If you want a job done right, you've got to do it yourself!" But the fact of the matter is that running a successful operation in today's market often takes the co-operation of a dedicated team; whether in-house, out-sourced, or simply "catch as catch can."

Depending on your situation, you may be fortunate enough to have a close-knit cadre of responsible, reliable, dedicated, and motivated associates on staff – folks that you can rely on when the chips are down and the pressure is on. Or, and much more likely, you are forced to make do with the best help you can attract – and afford. And if you're a one man (or woman) operation counting on the help that you might receive from other adult Webmasters that you've met on the industry message boards or through other networking channels, you might be in for a real surprise – especially if you consider that those who you're expecting help from are most likely in the same situation as yourself; similarly needy of real assistance, similarly short of time, and similarly overwhelmed...

In my own particular case, as the editor of an online publication that requires daily updates, my biggest problem involving disappointment when counting on others to do as they promised involves the actual delivery of articles for publication here at XBiz. Quite frankly, if I had a dollar for every article that I was promised but that never materialized, I wouldn't necessarily be all that much richer – but you'd be reading something else today!

So where does the problem lie? While it's easy to say "What do you expect in an industry full of unreliable scumbags?" The fact of the matter is that while we might have more 'scumbags' in our business than many other industry's need to contend with, we also have some of the nicest, most helpful individuals, as well as some of the best and brightest minds in the world working in our arena. In either case, these people are just that – people. People with emotions, and emotional issues. People "with better things to do" than jump at our beck and call. People who should know better than to promise what they can't (or won't) deliver...

At the end of the day, we can all do a better job of what's expected of us – unless we're simply unwilling to do so – in which case, we shouldn't be offering our help, promising what we can't (or won't) deliver, and raising expectations in others. Take care of yourselves, and deliver what you promise. ~ Stephen

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

Ricci Levy on Standing Up for the Right to Be Heard

When Ricci Levy speaks about human rights, she does not use detached, academic language. She speaks with urgency, emotion and the kind of passion that immediately makes it clear just how deeply personal this work is for her.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Lessons From Decades of Building the Adult Internet

After my first year of college, I needed a job. So I did what people did back then: I opened the newspaper and started scanning the classifieds. One listing stood out: “Image Librarian.” I had no idea what that meant, but I applied, and got the job.

Tanguy ·
opinion

How to Build a Cross-Border Payment Strategy

Pull up your analytics and you’ll likely find that international traffic is already on your site. Some of those visitors convert, but a lot more bounced at checkout — and a meaningful chunk tried to pay but were declined.

Joe Fredricks ·
opinion

The KPIs That Keep Payment Processing Humming While You're Away

I always look forward to the summer as my kids are home and I can plan little trips with them to reconnect and have some fun. If you’re like me, however, you probably never go on vacation without your laptop, so you can check in or lurk in the background to make sure all systems remain go.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

What Utah's SB 73 Means for Compliance Requirements

Utah has once again positioned itself at the center of the national battle over online age verification and adult-content regulation.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
profile

Clips4Sale's Christy on Backing Creators and Fueling Growth

Understanding the industry from within goes beyond data. For Christy, Manager of Creator Experience at Clips4Sale, that insight is shaped by front-line conversations and years spent listening not just to trends, but to people.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Breaking Down AI-Powered Moderation and Platform Safety

Adult platforms, including content sites, cam services and dating apps, consistently face a range of high-risk challenges. These include verifying consent, particularly for user-uploaded content, addressing nonconsensual material such as leaks and so-called revenge porn, and ensuring effective age verification and protection for minors. At the same time, platforms must manage content moderation at scale while addressing payment fraud, scams, harassment and user abuse.

Christoph Hermes ·
opinion

How to Optimize Subscription Billing for Compliance and Stability

The Federal Trade Commission’s “click to cancel” rule is coming back around. Last year, a federal appeals court vacated the FTC’s Negative Option Rule, aimed at addressing deceptive or unfair practices and making it easier for consumers to cancel online subscriptions.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

Key Strategies for Streamlining Payment Processing Approval

Why is it taking so long to get my account approved? It's frustrating for everyone involved, but it's all part of the process. Over the past year, timelines have stretched to 60 days or more for merchants to complete onboarding, from internal compliance review to banking partner approval and final card brand registration.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

What to Know About Alabama's Regulatory Push on Adult Content

Over the past two years, Alabama has quietly but aggressively transformed itself into one of the most restrictive and unfriendly jurisdictions for the adult entertainment industry. Through the enactment of House Bill 164 and related enforcement mechanisms, the state has layered taxation, compliance burdens and content restrictions in a way that goes far beyond traditional regulation.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
Show More