opinion

Counting On Others

It's been said time and again: success in the online adult industry is built upon the personal relationships we build with our peers. But is trusting the operation, profitability, or reputation of your own business to others a wise thing to do?

Whether it's a traffic trade that didn't materialize, a phone call or email that wasn't returned, a sponsor payout that was never received, or any of the million and one other things that we as adult Webmasters are promised – and expect – but never receive; being in this business for any length of time will make you well acquainted with that pesky, nagging emotion: "disappointment." The reason for this all too frequent (and all too frequently unnecessary) disappointment? Having to rely on others...

Let's face it; if we could do it all ourselves, we probably would. As the old saying goes, "If you want a job done right, you've got to do it yourself!" But the fact of the matter is that running a successful operation in today's market often takes the co-operation of a dedicated team; whether in-house, out-sourced, or simply "catch as catch can."

Depending on your situation, you may be fortunate enough to have a close-knit cadre of responsible, reliable, dedicated, and motivated associates on staff – folks that you can rely on when the chips are down and the pressure is on. Or, and much more likely, you are forced to make do with the best help you can attract – and afford. And if you're a one man (or woman) operation counting on the help that you might receive from other adult Webmasters that you've met on the industry message boards or through other networking channels, you might be in for a real surprise – especially if you consider that those who you're expecting help from are most likely in the same situation as yourself; similarly needy of real assistance, similarly short of time, and similarly overwhelmed...

In my own particular case, as the editor of an online publication that requires daily updates, my biggest problem involving disappointment when counting on others to do as they promised involves the actual delivery of articles for publication here at XBiz. Quite frankly, if I had a dollar for every article that I was promised but that never materialized, I wouldn't necessarily be all that much richer – but you'd be reading something else today!

So where does the problem lie? While it's easy to say "What do you expect in an industry full of unreliable scumbags?" The fact of the matter is that while we might have more 'scumbags' in our business than many other industry's need to contend with, we also have some of the nicest, most helpful individuals, as well as some of the best and brightest minds in the world working in our arena. In either case, these people are just that – people. People with emotions, and emotional issues. People "with better things to do" than jump at our beck and call. People who should know better than to promise what they can't (or won't) deliver...

At the end of the day, we can all do a better job of what's expected of us – unless we're simply unwilling to do so – in which case, we shouldn't be offering our help, promising what we can't (or won't) deliver, and raising expectations in others. Take care of yourselves, and deliver what you promise. ~ Stephen

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

WIA Profile: Katie

Katie is the ultimate girl’s girl. As community manager at Chaturbate, she answers DMs, remembers names, and shows up for creators and fellow businesswomen when it counts. She’s quick to credit the people around her, and careful to make space for others in every room she enters.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

How to Stay Legally Protected When Policies Get Outdated

The adult industry has long operated in a complex legal environment subject to rapid change. Now, a confluence of age verification laws, lawsuits, credit card processing and data privacy rules has created an urgent need for all industry participants — from major platforms to independent creators — to review and potentially overhaul their legal and operational policies.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

From Compliance Chaos to Crypto Clarity: Making the Case for Digital Payments in Adult

These are uncertain times for adult merchants. With compliance tightening and age verification mandates rising, the barrier to entry keeps getting higher.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Real-Time Insights to Streamline E-Payments and Stop Lost Sales

A slow checkout process is more than just annoying — it’s expensive. In a high-risk sector like the adult industry, even small delays or declined transactions can cost businesses thousands in lost revenue every month.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

FSC's Valentine Leads Charge for Sex Worker Rights and Financial Access

Before ever stepping into a courtroom, Valentine already understood the power of presence. After all, they’ve shimmied on stages as a burlesque performer, consulted behind the scenes for creative businesses and moved through the adult industry not just as an advocate, but as a participant.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

Breaking Down HB 805 and How it Affects the Adult Industry

North Carolina House Bill 805 was enacted July 29, after the state legislature overrode Governor Josh Stein’s veto. The provisions that relate to the adult industry, imposing requirements for age verification, consent and content removal, are scheduled to become effective Dec. 1. Platforms have until then to update their policies and systems to comply with the new regulations.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Staying Compliant With Payment Standards Across Europe and Australia

So, you’ve got your eye on international growth. Smart move. No matter where adult-industry merchants operate, however, one requirement remains consistent: regulatory compliance. This isn’t just a legal checkbox — it’s a critical component of keeping payments flowing and business operations intact.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

How to Avoid Copyright Pitfalls When Using Music in Adult Content

When creating an adult video, bringing your vision to life often means assembling just the right ingredients — including the right music. However, adding music to adult content can raise complex legal and ethical issues.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

New Visa Rules Adult Merchants Need to Know

In December 2024, I shared an update on the upcoming rollout of Visa’s Acquirer Monitoring Program, also known as VAMP. The final version went into effect in June, and enforcement will begin in October. With just a month to go, now is the time to review what’s changing and how to stay compliant.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

WIA Profile: Lainie Speiser

With her fiery red hair and a laugh that practically hugs you, Lainie Speiser is impossible to miss. Having repped some of adult’s biggest stars during her 30-plus years in the business, the veteran publicist is also a treasure trove of tales dating back to the days when print was king and social media not even a glimmer in the industry’s eye.

Women in Adult ·
Show More