opinion

Counting On Others

It's been said time and again: success in the online adult industry is built upon the personal relationships we build with our peers. But is trusting the operation, profitability, or reputation of your own business to others a wise thing to do?

Whether it's a traffic trade that didn't materialize, a phone call or email that wasn't returned, a sponsor payout that was never received, or any of the million and one other things that we as adult Webmasters are promised – and expect – but never receive; being in this business for any length of time will make you well acquainted with that pesky, nagging emotion: "disappointment." The reason for this all too frequent (and all too frequently unnecessary) disappointment? Having to rely on others...

Let's face it; if we could do it all ourselves, we probably would. As the old saying goes, "If you want a job done right, you've got to do it yourself!" But the fact of the matter is that running a successful operation in today's market often takes the co-operation of a dedicated team; whether in-house, out-sourced, or simply "catch as catch can."

Depending on your situation, you may be fortunate enough to have a close-knit cadre of responsible, reliable, dedicated, and motivated associates on staff – folks that you can rely on when the chips are down and the pressure is on. Or, and much more likely, you are forced to make do with the best help you can attract – and afford. And if you're a one man (or woman) operation counting on the help that you might receive from other adult Webmasters that you've met on the industry message boards or through other networking channels, you might be in for a real surprise – especially if you consider that those who you're expecting help from are most likely in the same situation as yourself; similarly needy of real assistance, similarly short of time, and similarly overwhelmed...

In my own particular case, as the editor of an online publication that requires daily updates, my biggest problem involving disappointment when counting on others to do as they promised involves the actual delivery of articles for publication here at XBiz. Quite frankly, if I had a dollar for every article that I was promised but that never materialized, I wouldn't necessarily be all that much richer – but you'd be reading something else today!

So where does the problem lie? While it's easy to say "What do you expect in an industry full of unreliable scumbags?" The fact of the matter is that while we might have more 'scumbags' in our business than many other industry's need to contend with, we also have some of the nicest, most helpful individuals, as well as some of the best and brightest minds in the world working in our arena. In either case, these people are just that – people. People with emotions, and emotional issues. People "with better things to do" than jump at our beck and call. People who should know better than to promise what they can't (or won't) deliver...

At the end of the day, we can all do a better job of what's expected of us – unless we're simply unwilling to do so – in which case, we shouldn't be offering our help, promising what we can't (or won't) deliver, and raising expectations in others. Take care of yourselves, and deliver what you promise. ~ Stephen

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

BranditScan's Aerie Saunders on Fostering Creator Knowledge, Confidence and Community

Aerie Saunders is firmly in her season. When she sits down with XBIZ, a fall-scented WoodWick candle burns in the background, pumpkins decorate her desk and the first signs of spooky season are already on display. Not that Saunders waits until autumn to embrace the macabre.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

What Mastercard's Scam Monitoring Program Means for Adult Merchants

Mastercard's Scam Merchant Monitoring Program (SMMP) has introduced a new, investigation-led framework that works very differently from the ratio-based chargeback programs the industry has relied on for years. It applies to card-not-present merchants globally, and Mastercard's guidance on business models warranting closer attention includes adult content and dating platforms, along with subscription services, digital goods and forex.

Len Garcia ·
opinion

Why the Right Merchant Category Code Matters for NSFW AI Businesses

You explained exactly what your NSFW AI business does to your payment processor and they seemed to get it. The underwriting process felt thorough and exhausting, but it was well worth it because you began processing.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

How Local Payments Can Expand Access and Reduce Friction at Checkout

Global adult platforms often enter new markets with a familiar assumption: If their checkout accepts major cards, they're ready for local customers. In reality, payment habits vary widely by country. Dutch consumers use iDEAL for online shopping, BLIK is a leading e-commerce payment method in Poland, and India's UPI handles billions of transactions each month.

Mitch Platt ·
opinion

How Detailed Receipts Build Consumer Trust and Reduce Chargeback

When was the last time you bought something online? Chances are you looked for the confirmation almost immediately. Did the transaction go through? Does it show what you bought? Were you charged correctly? And if there's a problem, who can you contact?

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

What Adult Platforms Should Know About the EU AI Act

The European Union's Artificial Intelligence Act is now largely in force, creating new obligations for adult platforms using AI for content creation, performer verification, age estimation, moderation and other functions.

Corey Silverstein ·
profile

Verifymy's Emma Robert-Tissot on Putting People at the Heart of Online Safety

Warm, friendly and always happy to help, Emma Robert-Tissot has a gift for making even the most complex corners of online safety feel approachable.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

YourVids' Gino on Listening, Learning and Putting Creators First

Get Gino talking about the work creators pour into their careers, and his passion quickly becomes contagious. He deeply appreciates the people powering the business and has firm ideas about what they deserve in return.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Vendo CEO Mitch Platt Reflects on 20 Years of Lessons and Evolution

More than 20 years ago, three entrepreneurs in Barcelona began gathering over beers to pitch, dissect and routinely destroy one another's business ideas. The ritual was simple: One person arrived with a concept, while the other two tried to expose every weakness. Any proposal that survived earned another look. Most did not.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

How to Avoid the Hidden Risks of AI-Generated Legal Documents

Artificial intelligence can write a contract in seconds, but that does not mean it can write the contract your business actually needs. Across the adult industry, operators, creators and producers are increasingly using generative AI to prepare model releases, performer agreements, privacy policies, takedown notices, employment documents and responses to regulators. The appeal is obvious: Legal work is expensive, AI is fast and the resulting document often looks impressively professional. That polished appearance is exactly what makes the practice dangerous.

Corey Silverstein ·
Show More