opinion

Popping by, near Tina Tyler

Gram Ponante
"I am looking for the next big thing," Tina Tyler said. "As it were."

The Cougar from Vancouver is launching GuysPopBy, a website to which prospective male talent can send his photos for the chance to audition for Tyler and web judges. The audition will consist of the man disrobing, getting an erection, and ejaculating in the same room as Tyler and a camera.

"What kind of camera?" I probed.

"The standard digital video camera," Tyler said. "But that's not really the point - "

"Fine," I said. "What will you be wearing?"

"Well, I won't be wearing a sweatshirt and jeans," she said.

"Why must all of our conversations devolve into unresolved sexual tension?" I cried.

"For you maybe," she said.

A bi-monthly winner will get a scene with an actual girl.

Tyler directs both the male masturbation line Handyman and the newbie girl series Fresh Out the Box for Mercenary Pictures. I haven't seen the former (there is nothing it can teach me) but Tyler handles the standard porn interview in the FotB movies with ease, which is refreshing. Tyler is one of the few porn directors whose banter behind the camera is useful.

Women are disgorged onto Porn Valley's lubed slopes every day, and somehow work is found for each one, either as a gonzo actress or as a greeter at the Gram Ponante Casino in the City of Forbearance. But it is statistically tougher for guys to get into the porn business.

"What routes do guys usually take into the business?" I asked.

"What roots?" she asked (we were on the phone). "You mean, do they take herbs?"

"I mean - "

"Oh, do you mean rowts? I'm Canadian. We say 'rowts'."

That is why you will be among the first eaten when Cthulhu comes, I did not say.

"Men often come in as the boyfriend of a new girl," Tyler said. "So what GuysPopBy will do is give them an alternate rowt into the business. If the web judges vote them in, they then have a scene they can show to agents."

Tyler said that just as the industry seems hungry for fresh female talent, female talent get excited when new male performers arrive.

"Nina Hartley would call me up and say, 'Have you seen this new guy?"" Tyler said.

Auditioners would need to get to L.A. on their own, Tyler said, and would not be paid to audition (as it is a solo scene, though, they would not need to fork over cash for an HIV/Gonorrhea/Chlamydia test). If chosen for a scene, they would receive the "standard beginner's rate".

Previously: This man trod on Tina Tyler; Canada finally validates Gram; Tina Tyler refuses to stop being hot; Tina Tyler's mandatory orgasm (gamelink)

See also: Guys Pop By, Tina Tyler on MySpace

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