opinion

Finding Your 'Tribe' in Camming

Finding Your 'Tribe' in Camming
Casey Heart

I’ve always had an infinite appetite for social relations, regardless of their nature. And although I’m quiet at first, as people get to know me, they quickly realize I’m quite talkative and happy to engage in stimulating conversation.

This has been the case ever since puberty kicked and I started noticing boys. I really wanted to know what they were all about! All those stories I was told as a child, that I`ll have to grow up, get a job, get married and have lots of kids … live in a big house to fit them all and, of course, a big dog ... all of this just turned into rubbish after I had my first crush. Nothing inside me felt like marriage, I swear! Same with the second one. And the next ... And the one after that ...

I am adored. I see how the members write to me and how interested they are in knowing me better. I get flowers. I get gifts … things that the little horny dogs chasing after me in real-life don’t know that I want, because they don’t take an interest in knowing. -Casey Heart, Cam Model

All that contact, however, became meaningless in the end. I didn`t know why I felt so incomplete and frustrated inside. Maybe I just wanted more than any boy my age had to offer. I wanted roleplay, I wanted adventure, I wanted tbe adored and I needed something more … something else … All these boys were there for fun, but they didn’t see me … and I wanted to be seen, uniquely so.

Let me make this clear — I am not the type of girl that needs attention all the time. I am never the one to be in the spotlight, but I think that in every woman at a certain point, the need to be admired is stronger than the things they teach you in school or at home. “Behave, speak when you’re asked, don’t try to make too much trouble.” And living in a Romanian household, I saw my incredible mom loving my dad. I knew dad loved her too but I didn’t see him … adore her. I needed to be the Greta Garbo of my life.

I wanted to have the spotlight from time to time and I needed to feel secure about myself and know that yes, I am a cute girl, but there’s more to me than that. And I wanted people to know that about me.

I saw an ad one day, about cam models and such. I laughed at first, and said, “That’s just a nice way to say ‘escort.’” I saw another one, and another and so on. Then I read this article that really captured my interest and so I decided to see what it’s about. I soon fell in love with the idea of being a star, of having a fan base, of being the girl that men fight for attention. For the first time, I didn’t have to think about heartbreak, about not being treated right, about doing something wrong. I had the upper hand. The men came there to see me. For me.

Even with all that in my head, you can’t believe the struggle I had with myself about going to the interview. I almost cancelled three times... one of the times being when I was in the elevator going to the studio. They asked me why I wanted to be a cam model and I found that question pretty silly at the time. “Why would you ask me why I want to become a cam model?” I thought. “You should be on your knees trying to get me to come and work for you guys.”

I had no freaking idea that the cam studio I entered had this glamour approach to modeling. They didn’t hire girls who don’t know English, who aren’t polished, who don’t want something more besides getting easy money. They wanted a tribe. #GirlsFromStudio 20 they called them. I loved the idea. It fit right with my personality. I was the girl they needed and they were the ones that would make me famous and rich … spoil my ego and my bank account. Match made in cam heaven, I call it.

This camming thing, though ... it’s not easy. You always have to come up with new things, new ideas, new outfits and new games. But the greatest aspect is that I can be whoever I want to be. I can be the Greta of my life. I am adored. I see how the members write to me and how interested they are in knowing me better. I get flowers. I get gifts … things that the little horny dogs chasing after me in real-life don’t know that I want, because they don’t take an interest in knowing.

On the other hand, the men that go into my cam room are amazing. They know how to talk to me. They are mostly smart and educated, they work a lot, they understand or pretend to understand my humor, they ask me if I’ve eaten, if I need anything, if they can do something for me. They do see me as a piece of meat sometimes, but we all see other people like that every now and then, so I don’t take offense. I think it’s sexy to be wanted.

Why I became a cam girl might seem pretty silly, I suppose. But, as for why I’m still a cam girl? Because I found a family that is always there for me … because I feel appreciated … because I make more money than I ever thought I could or would at my age … because it’s always great to feel wanted.

Because of all the right reasons.

Casey Heart is a cam model and proud member of the #GirlsFromStudio 20 tribe. Inspired by the glamour and adoration of her fans, Heart is thrilled to see where the future takes her.

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