opinion

Dial H for Herpes

Gram Ponante
Kelly Turner writes:

A newly-single friend of mine who happens to have the herp just set me hip to 'The Code': apparently herpes-positive singles (or swingers, one supposes) can include '437737' in a personals listing to let other herp-positive types (or herp fetishists) know what they can expect.

Perhaps most curious (other than my momentary fascination with this concept), while I found plenty of results when I typed The Code into Google, there were zero results (and) when I typed it into the Craigslist personals. Conclusion: Either no one in L.A. has herpes or those who do are big fat liars.

That number spells out "herpes" on a telephone. I tried dialing it and reached the operator.

"Do you have herpes?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

"You're a big fat liar," I said. "A big fat liar with Herpes. Now connect me to L.A. Direct Models."

In service to you, here are a couple of other numbers to use in your personal ads:

22846542: Catholic

466537: Hooker

7734626886787363328437: Pregnant (and) unsure of father

77346268472647328437: Pregnant (and) Gram is father

3323364: Dead dog

7792467284545377387: Psychopath (likes pets)

Previously: Public libraries at east coast island resorts support porn; Porn chicks say the darndest things; Porn stars divert attention to breasts

See also: Herpes Dating

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