opinion

Summer Haze wrestles for the dead, lost causes

Gram Ponante
Like a gang-banging St. Jude, Summer Haze for some reason will inscribe the names of "fallen stars from the family of X" into her Ladies X-Rated Wrestling Champion belt, presented recently at the Coastal Championship Wrestling smackdown in a high school gym in Cool Springs, Florida.

Haze's publicist writes:

Summer has been working hard for this and wants this belt to symbolize the people who have worked hard in the adult business in the past and present to make us the respected people we are today. So in Denver on February 23rd, Summers Belt will carry the names of fallen stars from the family of X in a special ceremony. Every few months, new members will be inducted until the belt is full. Not only will her belt symbolize the hard work and determination of the person wearing it, but the people who have fought to help us to get where we are today.

I can think of no better tribute to our nation's departed porn stars than to have their names on a wrestling belt wrapped snugly around Summer Haze.

According to the Coastal Championship Wrestling website, Ms. Haze is an executive assistant. The accompanying photos of the "Valentine Vengeance" event did not depict Haze actually wrestling to get the belt. Haze realizes that if wrestling is fake, why not just have a belt printed up rather than going through the motions?

I feel (w)restless and irritated with the You Just Don't Know How Stupid This Makes You Look aspect of porn today, particularly after also receiving an e-mail titled "Britney Rears to Shave Head Bald?" - but I'll get over it.

Starting an awards show always makes me feel better.

Previously: Summer Haze spreads boobs around; Canada finally validates Gram

See also: Coastal Championship Wrestling, Fallen Stars of X

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