Images of heaven (that take me to Hell)

Gram Ponante
As you know, the devil and me don't get along. Still, in a story reminiscent of Kim Kardashian being shocked that porn is going on here, several porn performers and crew members walked off a set in which a model of Jesus Christ's head was to be ejaculated upon and then smashed.

And questions arose (immediately - not after three days like you read about):

I have no problem with what was asked of the performers in this Shane Bugbee-directed Extreme Associates picture, Club Satan*. After all, the Torah tells us to accept no graven images, and ejaculating is accepting.

What concerns me is how the likes of Kyle Stone and Rick Masters (who said Bugbee had "gone too far") were enticed to the set at all. The first thing anyone confirms when booking me for a porn film is whether or not I will be expected to ejaculate on Jesus' head. In fact, I regularly choose the Jesus Head Sculpture Ejaculate-free aisle at my local Whole Foods.

Provocateur Matt Zane, speaking for Bugbee, who is apparently a Church of Satan priest, said, "Club Satan is about destroying the psychological and emotional taboo's [sic] {Satan needs a new publicist} that society has set forth and engrained with endless social programming."

Wow. Some angry teen wants his MySpace page back.

And using that logic, is the very foundation of porn, the pulling out and coming on your conquest's face while she slurps it up, about destroying the emotional and psychological taboos of women?

"This is not porn for mere entertainment," Zane adds. "This has a philosophy within it."

And that philosophy is put away your Sabbath albums.

One thing is certain: Paris Gables is fiendishly attractive, even with all that crap on her, and we all know that fake boobs are the work of the Dark One.

Previously: Sunny Lane: Miss Congeniality; At least one in ten of us: The Devil Inside; Skater Bloody Skater

See also: Extreme Associates *The press release suggests visitors go to ClubStan.com, which I don't advise unless Lucifer wants you to take intermediate improv classes.

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