opinion

Someday Never Comes

Stephen Yagielowicz

Editor’s note: The following missive is not my typically technical fare, but a hopefully inspirational cautionary tale of the inevitable future. Bear with me, for as embroiled actor and pro pudding peddler Bill Cosby used to say at the opening of his old televised cartoon series “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids,” “…if you’re not careful you may learn something before it’s done.”

As a teenager, I was enthralled with the fast times, freedom and cross-country fun on a customized Harley Davidson motorcycle that Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper portrayed in 1969’s counterculture classic road movie, “Easy Rider.” My bedroom was adorned with a poster of the iconic image of those two hippies crossing the steel girder bridges over the Colorado River — their bikes’ loud exhaust notes thundering powerfully as they made their way across the U.S. to the bawdiness of Bourbon Street and the decadence and excess of Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Upon arrival, they enjoyed a psychedelic trip with a couple of prostitutes in one of the city’s oldest cemeteries.

“How cool is that,” I thought to myself, and vowed that someday I would go to Mardi Gras.

Some 35 years later, while I have a Harley Davidson, the closest I will likely get to the annual festival is listening to the “Mardi Gras” album by Creedence Clearwater Revival, with its popular 1972 hit song, “Someday Never Comes.”

While it was for an adult entertainment convention many years ago, and not for Mardi Gras, I have been to New Orleans. After a paddle wheel riverboat ride down the Mississippi River and drunken stagger down Bourbon Street with my pal Twinkley, I never felt a need to return to that soggy Southern city — so for me, Mardi Gras in New Orleans is simply a someday that will most likely never come.

We all have these ambitious “someday” notions. Old school adult webmasters in particular have long been susceptible to this mentality, exhibited in the extensive domain portfolios we amass over the years — each the hopeful seed of a someday project, but most never seeing the light of day; just stashed away  until renewal fees exceed the value of the name or the holder’s desire to develop it.

Other times, “someday” is a part of our dreams, our lives and our plans for the future — but just as with the development of that awesome site you found a great domain for, sometimes someday never comes.

Despite the fact that I got my flu shot, take my vitamins and frequently wash my hands, I have been sick and staying inside for a few days now. I tried not to let it get me down, since the weather has not been too good and I have had a lot of work to do. But today is Sunday, the sun is shining and despite it literally being freezing outside, I figured that some fresh ocean air and a few good miles of walking on the beach would do me some good.

My father watched me drag myself off the couch, as I coughed, hacked, and tried to get it together. “Take it easy and go for a walk another day,” he advised. “No, the sun is shining today and tomorrow I have to work again,” I replied, as I laced up my big boots and hit the surf zone for some beach combing.

I was glad I did, and as I walked along considering life’s uncertainties and the importance of acting in the moment rather than wait for “someday,” I was quite pleased with my effort and my refusal to give in to my illness. 

The importance of this exercise became apparent when I returned home and received a call from my lovely wife Dawn, informing me of the sudden passing of a long time family friend: a talented Swiss surgeon who performed several of her operations, including her most recent one. He was in good health and she had seen him at the previous night’s community Christmas show, which he participated in as part of the church’s choral group. One of my father-in-laws best friends, he was a true gentleman that always made a point to greet me and shake my hand whenever, wherever, or how often we met.

Today, feeling fine and without any complaint, he sat down in his favorite easy chair and dropped stone dead away — a 68-year-old grandfather who was looking forward to his retirement and spending more time with his growing family and at his vacation home in Switzerland.

While such a peaceful and prompt passing is indeed a blessing and better than many of us may receive, the shock to his survivors and the abrupt end of his plans for “someday” again reinforced the vital need to do the things that are important — and to do them now. Whether it is building that new website, mending a relationship, taking a long sought after trip, or attaining another meaningful personal goal, putting off until “someday” what is accomplishable today, is never a good idea.

Overwhelmed by the suddenness of this event and befuddled by its mirroring of my mortal thoughts, I began thinking of the choices we make: such as whether to keep that domain and invest in developing it in an uncertain market — or pare the problem in lieu of moving on to something else. It is a question you likely feel you have all the time in the world to answer — but one day you will be wrong about it, and “someday” will never come.

As you will see in my January, 2015 “Last Word” column in XBIZ World magazine, substantial business and revenue opportunities remain in many areas of the adult entertainment industry— but these new possibilities must be embraced early on and not left to “someday” —  as it is a day that may never come.

If this seems like a bit of a rant, you can blame my cold medication, which advises users not to drive or operate heavy machinery, and perhaps should warn against writing as well. In any case, as a New Year unfolds, consider the value of striking while the iron is hot so as not to miss opportunities that seem permanent today, but may prove to be fleeting when someday never comes.

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