opinion

Doc Johnson: Buy this because it has rhinestones on it

Gram Ponante
Doc (not a real doctor) Johnson has unloaded its latest series of signature vibrators in cooperation with ClubJenna, Jenna’s Jewels ™.

Jenna’s Jewels ™ are multi-speed waterproof vibes with a pearl white body encrusted with pink rhinestones that circumnavigate the base of the vibe, immediately above the twist dial that controls the multi-speed settings of the vibe. Jenna’s Jewels ™ are available in 5.5-inch or 7.5-inch versions.

Jenna’s Jewels ™, extrapolating from this dim image provided by a photo hobbyist, have about 11 or 12 rhinestones glued on them, thus making them somehow representative of Jenna?

The following conversation might well have happened:

Jenna: Whaddaya got?

Intern: Jenna’s Jewels ™.

Jenna: The fuck are those?

Intern: Well, they're vibrators with 11 or 12 rhinestones glued on them. I can't tell from the picture. I'm assuming there's more on the other side, like that Pink Floyd album.

Jenna: How does that represent my interests and my branding?

Intern: What I'm thinking is that we could glue 11 or 12 rhinestones on you, and that would make you look more like the vibrator.

Jenna: Why, if I am the symbol of feminity, is my name being associated with a phallic symbol?

Intern: What I'm saying is we could glue the rhinestones on you...

I don't understand it either, but the only other Arizona ressident I associate with rhinestones is Glen Campbell.

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