Kegels for Fun and Profit

Kim Airs

All during high school, I spent four years toiling away in the Ocean County (NJ) Public Library’s technical processing department, checking in books on zillions of topics. Many of the themes for non-fiction kids books would be “Blah, Blah, Blah for Fun and Profit” and they’d explain different hobbies and such that would not only be fun to do, but would make money for you, too.

With this blog, I’m now officially writing “Kegel Exercises for Fun and Profit.”

Yeah, yeah, I know you’re thinking “Oh, another ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’” article and why, yes, it sort of is, but it’s also a guide for you so if you can’t tell a Kegel from a kugel, this blog is for you!

If you want to just get to the “good” parts about Ben Wa Balls for kegel pleasure in  FSoG, just flip to page 362 to read the, ahem, stellar writing… “He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils … Oh my … It’s a curious feeling. Once they’re inside me, I can’t really feel them—but then again I know they’re there … Oh my … I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.”

Okay, okay… now I know a lot of you are probably thinking “How could those little silver (or gold) balls turn this FSoG character, a 20 something, nervous college student, into a raving slut, never mind want to do the dance of the seven veils inside her quivering quim?”

Keep in mind that this book is fiction but truth be told, the benefits of doing Kegels certainly is fact.

To better understand the renewed interest in women’s anatomy and why they’ve recently become so popular, let’s look at what Kegels are in the first place.

First described in 1948 by Dr. Arnold Kegel (of course!), Kegel exercises consist of tightening and releasing the pelvic floor muscle group consisting primarily of the puboccocygeus muscle, otherwise known as the PC muscle or “pelvic sling.” This group of muscles is responsible for holding your guts up in your body cavity as well as keeping the flow of urine nice and smooth.  Kegel exercises were first “prescribed” for post-childbirth tightening and especially for the treatment of urinary incontinence, and as a non-surgical treatment for “genital relaxation.” One of the major benefits of performing Kegels is that the PC muscle surrounds the vagina so in essence, a nice, well toned PC muscle translates into nice, tighter honey walls of pleasure.

How Ben Wa balls play into the Kegel exercise routine is this: let’s say you want to tone your upper arms. You could do arm lifts or pull ups with your fists which may strengthen your muscles but it would take lots of reps to get to that point. If you were to use weights during the exercise process, the added weight for resistance would make for a more effective workout for your upper arms. Sort of the same holds true with using Ben Wa balls during Kegel exercises. Having two small balls inserted vaginally gives a woman something to grip around, never mind squeeze together in order to stay inside. Legend has it that Geishas would insert the balls and go about their daily duties, like rocking in a chair so the balls would gently roll around inside her increasingly stimulated vagina.

Whether or not that’s true, some women swear by the insertion of balls in their vajjs, either when they are separate or attached together on a cord.  The larger, heavier balls that are attached by a cord, rubber or even a silicone thread, are commonly referred to as “DuoTone Balls” – most likely because they contain a small metal marble in the center of the (usually) plastic egg or ball and usually have a removal cord of nylon or silicone at the base. It’s always a challenge to play the first few bars of “La Cucaracha” with these internal maracas but it’s been known to happen.  

Okay, back to Ben Wa balls. Who would have thought that the small, ½ inch wide metal balls, once relegated to the dusty discount bins of adult retail shops because no one knew what they were or how they worked, would become as popular as they are today? Most of the times, they were just two little golden balls in a crystal box with a fake velvet lining without instructions for their use, which were usually written in poorly translated Chinese.

But not anymore. Middle-aged women are buying them in order to experience the pleasure the fictional character experiences throughout the book. The Ben Wa balls that Christian Grey so eloquently inserts into the waiting Anastasia have single-handedly has caused the latest craze in sex toys. For many years, the very famous Rabbit Pearl by Vibratex, immortalized through the exposure in “Sex and The City” television series, held the mantel. Then, in part because of the rabbit’s external stimulation, women were suddenly in touch with their clitorises and knew where they were at any given time. Perhaps coincidentally, women’s G spots became the new corps celeb: the internal area of the vagina that the spinning pearls of the Rabbit so easily stimulated.  Everyone in the industry clambered to make the best and most celebrated G spot toy on the planet and continue to do so today.

But now the G spot craze seems to be in the rear view mirror and women are shifting their attention to performing Kegel exercises in order to please their partners, be it in a BDSM relationship or for just plain ol’ better sex.

So now there are tons of variations of Ben Wa Balls and DuoTone Balls as companies race to capitalize on the FSoG Bn Wa craze. Personally, I think this is a GOOD thing as doing Kegels is a healthy thing to do for one’s body, FSoG be damned!

There’s glass ones, metal ones, silicone encased ones, virtually something for any woman out there who wants to strengthen her inner workings to compliment her outer workings. There’s even dildos and vibrators created specially for internal, PC muscle enhancement, that will contribute to pleasure when she decides to go for the burn… okay, maybe not the burn but you know what I mean.

While the standard of Ben Wa Balls has been those two, marble-sized metal balls that, once out of the body, look like they could be part of Junior’s playtoys, female customers’ demands for something sexy and artful have made several toy companies develop variations that ain’t your Granny’s Ben Wa balls.

New Sensations’ NS Novelties proudly brings us the combination of art and function with their lovely, artistic, “you can leave ‘em out on the dining room table” Crystal Premium Eggs which, yes, since you asked, ARE egg shaped, making them the perfect gift for Mommy’s Easter Basket! They are available in many colors and weights, too, so you can change them up to match your outfits. I’ve tried these before and they are really pleasant to use.

Expanding on the DuoTone Balls theme, enter Icon Brands Ultimate Kegel Kit, Jopen’s award winning Vanity Intensity, Posh Silicone balls from California Exotic Novelties, LELO’s Luna Beads, the early creation Smart Balls from Fun Factory and EVI, the latest Kegel creation from Aneros, the folks who’ve created the first, anatomically correct butt plug. These companies and many others realized they could fill the gap for toys that could not only provide pleasure but create it themselves.

These companies have created weighted, marble-enclosed balls that are often coated in silicone or reside in a stretchy, silicone sleeve that allows one to change the weight of the balls with different ones that are in the kit. This is definitely one of the most intriguing advancements in DuoTone land as it lets the user/wearer get pleasure AND exercise in one, easy package. I have a few of these and they’re REALLY nice!

Jopen offers the Intensity, an inflating, vibrating, electro-stim g spot and Kegel exercise toy released prior to the FSoG craze. I wish they would have used the Intensity in FSoG because it doubles as an electro stim toy, too… play hard, I say!

Icon Brands have throws their balls in the wind with the new “Ultimate Kegel Kit” containing a three ball collection, customized by inserting into a silicone sleeve. The instructions on the box advise one to complete their 6 step/6 weeks program by gently increasing the weight of the plastic balls (complete with a marble on the inside) in the silicone sleeves to build strength, again playing with the “increase weight/increased strength” thought of exercise in general. LELO’s Luna Beads has a similar approach, offering somewhat smaller beads sliding into silicone sleeves for a customized Kegel workout.  These two kits go way beyond the tacky, fake velvet-lined crystal boxes of the original Ben Wa balls.

Fun Factory’s Smartballs is generally regarded as the original type of silicone covered pleasure balls and they were honored with a mention on TMZ about their sales increase of SmartBalls because of FsoG.

As for toys made specifically for Kegels without moving parts or marbles that circulate within them, Aneros’ EVI silicone coated and anatomically correct EVI was created to be a sex toy that one vaginally holds in place by grasping the neck of the toy with the ever-increasingly strong PC muscle. The pleasing shape of EVI with a bulbous head and slender neck can be worn throughout the day, constantly reminding the wearer to do her exercises for future sexual pleasure.

Okay, so here’s something that you want to try, ladies… insert Ben Wa Balls or Duotone Balls before going to bed to do relaxing Kegel exercises. Then go to sleep with them inside and I’ll bet you that you’ll have the most crazy, erotic dreams because of them, too. Trust me on this one – it happens to me all the time.

So thanks to Dr. Arnold Kegel, E.L. James, author of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” and clever Kegel exerciser manufacturers, adult product retailers and the women of the world will never be the same. Time to hit the pleasure gym for Kegel exercises!