The only other place I've been in which 100 percent of the women I encountered were shaved was Brazil, and that needs to be discounted because that whole country is in the porn industry.
If I ever, God forbid, leave this place, what will I find out there in the world?
Just like it seems that only in the past few years have women started making out in bars as a regular part of the drink service, are all the civilians in the world shaving?
"Might it be because women pay more attention to shaving because they live in beach communities?" suggested former AVN editrix Rebecca Gray.
Yes, but how many people who ostensibly moved to Los Angeles because it's close to the beach have been in swimming after the first year of living here?
My feeling is that porn culture has influenced real life in California yet again. Why else would it be that only in Los Angeles does everybody ride around in a solid gold wheelchair?
But apparently it's everywhere.
"You can't even buy panties with room for extra pubes anymore," said Adam & Eve's Libby Lynn from the company's mountaintop compound in North Carolina. "Everybody has French manicures, like the porn stars, and Louis Vuitton bags, and Tiffany charm bracelets."
So a porn chick is losing out on some cash if she appears in a hairpie movie. A female porn company executive says that Eboney's thatch in Young Black & Hairy looks like it took two weeks to grow. That's two weeks she can't appear in another scene unless porn travels time (like Iron Man) back to 1982.
Porn has made such inroads in the past few years that "natural" (real breasts, unshaved pubic area) is unnatural.
"Now when I see a chick who isn't shaved, I automatically think 'Gross!' which really sucks for the feminist who lives somewhere in the recesses of my brain," the exec said.
I asked Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith why civilians started waxing their ho-hos.
"These girls thumb through Playboy and watch a little smut over the years and what they see these sex objects doing with their grooming, they do too," she said, agreeing that porn is 100 percent behind the trend of non-porners shaving.
Faith adds that there is practical value as well.
"Women who have slept with Hillary Scott probably shave just to make sure that they aren't sportin' any warts there, Buddy."