opinion

Coping with Loss

It's been three weeks now since the worst day of my life; a day that was also the worst day of my lovely wife's life. It was the day that God called home the Angel he had leant us — a loss that proved nearly unbearable for us.

Not just "a dog," Jack is an entity that was "our child" — and my very best friend — a friend that I have risked my own life to save in the past; but was powerless to help now.

I remember the vet's steely gaze as he listened to Jack's heart. I told him that I had just been to the cardiologist for a stress test and it came back ok. He looked into my eyes and said, "Jack isn't as lucky."

It seems his heart wasn't pausing between beats.

We had him on medication to reduce the size of his swollen heart (which at twice the size of a normal dog's heart, was human-sized), but the meds were no longer effective.

Jack enjoyed excellent health care. He had insurance (even prescription coverage) and had regular vet visits and a very comfortable life; but in the end, it all just wasn't enough — and as Dawn held Jack in her arms, stroking him gently, the doctor helped ease him out of his pain and anxiety — Jack drifted off peacefully, enjoying a much better death than might have occurred otherwise.

He was nearly 14 years old — a long life for a dog — and it was a good life, too.

Many of my readers have met Jack, who had visited our offices in Hollywood and had accompanied Dawn and I to several conferences and industry events over the years, where attendees would catch a late-night visit with us going out on our evening walks.

A well-traveled pooch, he had visited most of the states, swam in two oceans and stayed in some of the nation's finest hotels. I used to call Dominos for him, because one of his favorite things was to maul pizza delivery boys in an attempt to get some sausage.

He loved beer, buds and an occasional shot of tequila. He would ride on my Harley, sitting between Dawn and I, his head on my shoulder, panting as the road unfolded ahead, and was a Mopar fan, coming with me on blasts in my Dart. I even taught him to drive (on California's I-5!), where he would sit on my lap and use his paws to steer (I would work the pedals for him, of course).

Jack was also a fixture on my mining trips; and while he bored easily of rummaging through creek beds, he stayed alert, warning me of approaching mountain lions, bears and meth-crazed hillbillies. At home, he slept under my desk while I wrote articles and would patiently listen as I read them aloud — hoping I would finish soon so that we could go for our daily walk at the lake.

We were each other's guardians, but on the day that "Dr. Mengele" came at him with the needle, I had to stand down — and the guilt, pain and uncertainty are still with me... Grief can be crippling and depression a serious emotional detriment to be fought against aggressively before it becomes all-consuming, so be warned.

I dug a hole in the hard clay behind Dawn's orchard where Jack liked to play, burying him next to some of her previous pals. The Hawaiian Lei that hung on her office door and which he kissed daily (!) now drapes his rock-covered grave, along with his favorite toy (a shark) and some gold-bearing quartz that I topped the mound with.

He is dearly missed and we have visited his grave several times since.

For her part, Dawn now has a new tattoo, commemorating our friend; and she helped us both greatly by finding an amazing online resource, "The Pet Loss Support Page," which offers a number of incredibly helpful, healing articles and discussions on the topic. Check it out if and when you are in the same situation: www.pet-loss.net.

While our personal loss is of a loved one, everybody faces loss of one kind or another — whether it is a pet, family member, friend or lover — or even of a job or of a business. With the economy still reeling and the future profitability of digital media in question, the chances are that some of my readers will face (or have faced) a substantial loss this year — or will in the near future. That's just how life is: it can't be avoided nor changed. But nature abhors a vacuum, so when one door closes, another opens. The important part is to walk through that door — and the first step involves being able to cope with loss.

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

Efren Méndez Leads LoveStore Mexico With a Community-First Approach

Fifteen years ago, Efren Méndez and a friend walked into a sex shop. They were looking for nothing more than a few items for a party. Instead, the moment altered the direction of his career, and ultimately his life.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Kisscat on American Dreams and Creating Content That Connects

The year was 2019. Kisscat was drying her hair when her husband, Alex, walked in and told her about a couple who had become popular on Pornhub just shooting videos at home.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

Guiding Shoppers With Clear Pleasure Education

One of the most valuable skills in pleasure retail isn’t persuasion — it’s translation. Customers often arrive curious but cautious, unsure of terminology, functions or even what questions to ask. The goal isn’t to overwhelm them with specs or explicit details, but to describe product features in a way that feels approachable, relatable and easy to imagine.

Sara Gaffoor ·
profile

Stripchat's Jessica on Building Creator Success, One Step at a Time

At most industry events, the spotlight naturally falls on the creators whose personalities light up screens and social feeds. Behind the booths, parties and perfectly timed photo ops, however, there is someone else shaping the experience.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

High-ROI Marketing Tactics for Online Retail

In adult ecommerce, the marketing landscape never stops shifting. What succeeded brilliantly in March may seem outdated by September. When you look at the bigger picture, however patterns emerge: clear, repeatable paths to strong ROI that remain consistent even as algorithms, platforms and buyer behavior keep changing.

Hail Groo ·
opinion

Inside the OCC's Debanking Review and Its Impact on the Adult Industry

For years, adult performers, creators, producers and adjacent businesses have routinely had their access to basic financial services curtailed — not because they are inherently higher-risk customers, but because a whole category of lawful work has long been treated as unacceptable.

Corey Silverstein ·
opinion

A Hands-On Review of AI Camera Monitoring for Retail

Last month, I outlined the main AI-powered loss prevention options available to businesses: DIY solutions, hosted services and enterprise platforms. This time, I decided to test one out myself. I contacted a cloud video platform that integrates with Lightspeed POS and scheduled a demo.

Zondre Watson ·
opinion

How to Build Operational Resilience Into Your Payment Ecosystem

Over the past year, we’ve watched adult merchants weather a variety of disruptions and speedbumps. Some even lost entire revenue streams overnight — simply because they relied too heavily on a single cloud provider that suffered an outage, lacked sufficient redundancy and failover, or otherwise fell short when it came to making sure their business was protected in case of unwelcome surprises.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Turning Fantasy Fans Into New Creature Play Shoppers

Adult “creature play” is no longer just a niche novelty. There’s even a term for this kink: teratophilia, meaning sexual attraction to monsters. A heady mix of sensory novelty, curiosity about unfamiliar bodies and potential power dynamics has made lusting after and role-playing mythological creatures more widely accepted. The erotically captivating allure of otherworldly beings has even become prevalent across pop culture, from “True Blood” and “The Shape of Water” to Guillermo Del Toro’s “Frankenstein” and “monster boyfriend” romantasy literature trending on TikTok.

Naima Karp ·
opinion

Building a Stronger Strategy Against Card-Testing Bots

It’s a scenario every high-risk merchant dreads. You wake up one morning, check your dashboard and see a massive spike in transaction volume. For a fleeting moment, you’re excited at the premise that something went viral — but then reality sets in. You find thousands of transactions, all for $0.50 and all declined.

Jonathan Corona ·
Show More