opinion

It was a lovely wedding

Gram Ponante
One can tell a lot about the way the adult industry regards long-term commitments by the release of Vamp's Bridal Bang.

Sorry to sound like Joan and Melissa Rivers, but who did Missy Monroe's hair? For someone like me to ask that question, it has to be pretty bad. And what about that dress? Missy Monroe is hot like fire. Wouldn't a non-porn woman think she deserves to look beautiful on her wedding day? Of course. But though it is a common occurence to see an adult starlet wearing nothing but lucite heels, a thong, and a Blink 182 t-shirt at Koo Koo Roo, clearly marriage is not esteemed too highly in this picture, nor does the bride feel it is an occasion to look her best.

The tableau is very revealing. Monroe is not touching the guy playing her husband (I think it's Dave Grohl). Instead, she is being gazed at by a party crasher, who is in turn being regarded warily by the best man. The groom's dad (or maybe it's the bride's dad - that would be more likely), doesn't even care enough to wear a goddamn tux. He appraises his daughter/daughter in-law proprietarily.

This is the worst day of Missy Monroe's life. I hope, at least, there was some spanikopita.

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