opinion

No, I Won't Be Your Fluffer

It may sound funny to suggest that a pornographer has moral boundaries, but I do have certain lines that I won't cross. But the day came when I'd reached one of those lines — one I really didn't want to cross. At this moment, it appeared that either I was going to have to compromise my integrity, or I was going to lose money on a failed photo shoot. What's disturbing is that I was almost prepared to do the former.

I was shooting a centerfold for Playgirl magazine, and what I'd always dreaded, but what I'd always suspected, had happened. The model, expecting some kind of female fluffer on set, discovered that I was to be the only girl present that day. Yes, I was the photographer, but why couldn't I perform double-duty?

"You know Holly, you're going to have to fluff me today," he commented as he appraised my unappealing getup of jeans and a loose-fitting sweater, complete with a face devoid of makeup framed by a messy ponytail. "I'm serious," he continued, when I rolled my eyes at his suggestion.

I tried to ignore the insinuation that I actually give a hand job — or worse a blowjob — to this man, but he wouldn't drop it. Not that I particularly blame him, since I know he was concerned about his performance and wanted a successful photo shoot, as did the rest of us. But I just wasn't prepared to go to any lengths to get it.

"Skye Blue shoots the Playgirl videos with her top off," he mentioned.

Skye Blue is a former porn star, so already many more people than just my model that day had seen her naked. But I didn't mention that, instead I said: "I don't really have Skye's tits, you know."

He glanced at my B-cups. "Yeah, but you'll do. I mean, I can make it work with just what you've got."

"Oh, thanks a lot," I replied sarcastically. "But it doesn't matter, I'm not taking my top off."

"Well you could've at least worn a see-through shirt," he grumbled.

Apparently my wearing a modest outfit that day was a problem — something I really hadn't considered as I got dressed that morning. But really, should I have? Of course ethically, one shouldn't have to consider turning a man on to get the job done, but that's exactly what so many women do in the job market today, whether or not they do so consciously. And perhaps the goal isn't necessarily as cut-and-dried as mine would be: to give one's subject a raging hardon. But it's the same game we all play: to construct some kind of sexual power over our male coworkers. Mine is just much more direct.

Would it have been more professional of me to wear even just a low-cut blouse? I'm not that old yet, and I'm not particularly unattractive. As the only female on a set where a man must get an erection for solo photos, shouldn't I have taken into account that I would be the only live female body around? Should I have spent more time in front of the mirror today?

Luckily I had my stack of trusty porn magazines with me. Once my subject was aware that I was indeed keeping my clothes on, he focused his attention to the spread of photos of hot women doing dirty things. Of course I'd only brought magazines with my layouts in them, because hey, my ego still wants a small part in getting this guy up.

So my minor crisis was averted, my dignity still intact. And this is not to say that the women I photograph who do take their clothes off for men have no dignity, but they've set the parameters of how far they'll go in terms of expressing their sexuality publicly. I have my standards, and these girls have theirs.

I think the situation of compromising one's self-respect comes from crossing that line you have set for yourself and doing something you are not comfortable with. As individuals, we all have our own ideas of what we deem personally acceptable, and at the end of the day, the only person whose opinion matters is our own. We all have to draw the line somewhere.

Related:  

Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

Free Agent Auteur: Casey Calvert Expands Her Directing Horizon

Now, having brought that highly-awarded polyamory trilogy to a close, Calvert is concluding the exclusive Lust Cinema directing chapter of her career and charting a new course out into open creative waters as a free agent.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Collaboration Done Differently: Adult Time Discusses Ambassador Program

Since the launch of Adult Time in 2019, award-winning director and chief creative officer Bree Mills has actively explored collaborative opportunities with members of the performer community, seeking out talent whose values align with the company’s and who appreciate the type of content Mills creates for the multibrand platform.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

WIA Profile: Siouxsie Q.

Siouxsie Q has long been a committed artist and organizer. This dual path has garnered her significant recognition for both her creative works and her advocacy. Yet one thing that stands clear in Q’s story is that her motivation transcends mere acclaim.

Women In Adult ·
trends

The Art of Performance: Top Stars Share Current Strategies for Success

While many studio performers are also creators, harnessing the booming indie content and streaming market, only a select few creators also do studio shoots.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Sinful XXX Brings Dreamy Erotica to Life With Business Finesse

As the creative brains behind Sinful XXX, director and producer Roma Amor is primarily responsible for bringing the brand’s signature style of erotica to life. It is a role for which he is well prepared, having worked as a freelance art photographer and video maker since 1996.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

Anna Claire Clouds Reflects on Triumphs, Career Ambitions

Born and raised in a small town near Nashville, Tennessee, Southern belle Anna Claire Clouds grew up surrounded by nature. She spent most of her time enjoying the rippling waters of the lake, exploring the greenery of the woods and living that country life.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Lauren Phillips Flips the 'Switch' for New Adult Time Series

Veteran performer and cam model Lauren Phillips is no stranger to moviemaking. Well before she began sharpening her directorial instincts, as a prolific performer she worked alongside Gamma Entertainment's award-winning teams to bring their various studio brands to life.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Mazee the GOAT Shoots for the Stars With 'Amazing Films'

In 2016, three years before he entered the adult industry, Mazee the G.O.A.T. was a male stripper on the East Coast. Living in New York made it easy for him to pick up work at private parties and events around the tri-state area.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Queenie Sateen Reflects on Rising Stardom, Making Music

When Queenie Sateen reached adulthood, she moved to New York City to attend the Parsons School of Design, while making music and stripping in her free time.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Skye Blue Talks Fashion, Performing & Being an Authentic Creator

After moving to New York City to attend fashion school, Skye Blue was snatched up by a modeling agency — but when the agency discovered she was camming at night to help pay the bills, she was promptly dropped for violating her contract’s “morality clause.”

Alejandro Freixes ·
Show More