Assault That Ass: Sun Tzu's perspective Or: Come to think of it, don't cum on my tatto
"When doing battle, seek a quick victory," writes Tzu, and indeed, victory seems imminent despite Lane's defiant air. "A protracted battle will blunt weapons and dampen ardor."
But Lane is also protected by a railing as well as a spiral staircase. Assault by land, which is preferable, would require attackers to change direction several times. Air ass assault forces would first have to clear that railing.
Lane is doing something that both my cats and Tzu call "presenting". Tzu believes that if one's enemy invites aggression, the enemy must be at an advantage, perhaps even with shotguns in their nipples.
"If the enemy is far away and challenges you to do battle," Tzu writes, "he wants you to advance, because he occupies level ground that is to his advantage."
Something between you and Lane undoubtedly lies in wait to thwart you. It might be slippery ass juice or her dad, boyfriend, or agent. Sun Tzu says nothing about jealousy in his 2500-year-old text, but Chinese literature is clear when it warns: "Beware the form the pimp has taken."
Assault That Ass 11 is also an assault on the tattoo. Note Lane's tattoo in the original picture and how it has been airbrushed away for the boxcover.
"I don't care if she has a tattoo, vitaligo, or burns over 30 percent of her body," Sun Tzu didn't say when contacted. "I'd hit that even if I were standing in a swamp without proper defillade."