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Fantasy Sex

Fantasy Sex

March 28, 2005
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" I want to put my two cents in on this specific "fantasy sex" topic. "

Editor's note: The following piece details the insights of an adult industry observer. I present it for your consideration, and would like to hear what you have to say about it, by using the message thread below:

Why have the real thing when you can have fantasy sex right at your door? Why waste the time on a full time girlfriend, when you can spend $400 on a girl who can be your GFE (Girl Friend Experience) and be in and out of the door in one hour's time? Why call to chit chat with your wife, when you can call that 900 line in the paper and have steamy phone sex with a total stranger? You won't need to have mundane chat with your wife and end up staying on the phone with her as she rambles on and on about "Honey will you get the kid's at 3?" or "Honey, will you let the dog out later?" Why, if this was the phone sex lady, instead of your wife on the phone, you would be shooting a load by now, and then hanging up on the phone sex lady right after you've been relieved...

What is fantasy sex? My perception of this is that it is basically any type of sexual pleasure that is not real. By "real," I mean in your face, flesh to flesh, human to human contact – with the exception of course being "fantasy sex" with real people. To further clarify my terminology, I am pretty much referring to "fantasy sex" life in relation to the adult entertainment world; a naked view of bringing the illusion of real time fun right at your finger tips.

I'm sure this is not a topic that is new to most of us, we all know it exists. We all are aware that sex is out there. In fact, there is a smell of sex pretty much anywhere you go. However, this is only the case if you want it to be. Every individual has their choice.

I live a fairly conservative life. Well, quasi-conservative overall... Okay so let's X out the conservative part. I lied, I'm quite liberal and open-minded. How about this? I went from extremely liberal to just "liberal." Good enough. I have no problem with most other people, and what they choose to do with their lives. A friend of mine once mentioned to me "Never question anyone's happiness." It's true, it stuck in my head, thus to this day I live by that rule and I am happy for anyone that is happy. Sure I have my opinions and advice, sure I like to say this is right, that was wrong, but overall I can't change someone. All I can offer are my words and hope for the better. But in general, I believe it's all just part of human nature to naturally ask questions. I believe questioning another's happiness falls under that category to some degree. I just agree that if your happy, then I'm happy for you too. If you want to become a big time porn producer and live in the valley, then so be it. Be the best porn producer you could ever be.

I want to put my two cents in on this specific "fantasy sex" topic. Fantasy sex. Do you support it? I would. Well, I would but I wouldn't. Some "fantasy sex" things are just not my own personal thing. If you are curious to know, I am more of a "mainstream" type of girl. But to each his or her own. I support the sex industry, but I'm not sure this is such an overall healthy endeavor. Sure you can argue this, justify that, support this, put down that, but in the long run it is all very complex, legal and messed up from all those right wing religious protesters that absolutely do not condone any of these acts whatsoever. It's a shame. They all are missing out on a lot of fun. I couldn't imagine a life with that type of repression. Fantasy sex is not fantasy sex without the people involved. And for what ever reason, whether it be psychologically, business, emotions, turning a new leaf, filling a void, addiction, curiosity or just plain boredom that lures these folk into such an industry, they are who they are and that's that. No one is most likely to change them except their own individual self. So in the meantime, they all continue to fuel this billion-dollar industry and do their thing.

So let's focus in more on these people. The trade workers in the industry. The producers, the models, the actors, the video companies, media and all the rest of the club. We know why they got there in the first place. Read the previous last two sentences again if you had already forgot. But not to go into great detail, there was obviously a screw loose somewhere to find themselves in this line of work. And I stand firm on my opinion about that. Anyone in this industry who would deny it is a complete liar!

Adult industry workers are an interesting breed. They like money, they like the sex, they like to act, they like to be famous, they like the business. You can dissect them in many different ways. But the point is they all are in the service business. In particular, the models and the actors that work in the biz intrigue me the most. You see, some of them love what they do and they are just highly sexual people, open-minded, don't care what other people think, live their life and love it for what ever reason. On the other hand, others are simply fake. They act. They act because that's their job and it's part of the fantasy. "You want me to be the naughty schoolgirl, you want me to spank you silly" "Sure, I'll play that role for you baby" "Bend over." Stuff like that. It's fantasy.

Now take the "Bob", the "John", the "Client" or whatever you would call it in this biz. In reference to the standard "Prostitute" and "John" example idea, this is fantasy. The guy rings a call girl, pays her for her time, they both have a good time, put their clothes back on and everyone leaves happy. But my point to this is, why would this make someone happy? It's not happiness. It's a temporary illusion, mental trickery of the mind. You're just in a temporary high with what just went on. After the hour goes by, a happy hooker has left the building to spend your good earned money on some crack. And you're left alone again with no real woman that loves and cares for you like a real woman should. It's just an example. But my take on this whole "fantasy" concept is that there is absolutely no substance in any of this whatsoever. Whether it be watching a porno, subscribing to Mandysthumbs.org, calling the phone sex lady in Nebraska, ordering a happy hooker from the Watermellon's agency and so on. Sorry to kill this for you guys and gals but I just don't see the freakin' point.

In defense for the Johns and the people in the industry, it is all quite logical in some regards as well. After all, we are mostly hard-working people and people do need to earn a living. There are lonely men out there, women too, who just don't have the luck of getting laid that easily, so they devise other solutions to their problems. Hence the fantasy life. Is it harmless enough of an act? Sure, it doesn't physically hurt anyone. Well, maybe it can if your into that kinky "yell at me and spank me silly till I bleed" shit. But on the other hand, its a mental mind fuck that can cost a whole lot of emotional turmoil. You're playing with fire to an extreme degree. Especially all you married, cheating rats out there with pretty, prissy wives and girlfriends at home. Women too! They are just as bad. Seductresses and cold hearted girls who want their cake and to eat it too. So the adult industry contributes to this fiasco because it is what it is. It's a vice. It's like alcohol, drugs, etc. Too much of it is not a good thing.

I've had a chance to meet, observe, chit-chat and mingle with both the industry side and the spectators in the game. It's very fascinating to share all that I've seen and heard. There are never ending comments that revolve around this industry, and I think we should just brush the surface and delve a bit deeper into some of the comments from both sides:

Spectators (The Johns, the patrons of the sex world, the online consumers, the freaks, the sex addicts):

John 1. "I think it's perfectly normal to pay for sex. I'm all for it."

John 2. "When I am lonely, I call "Sara" – she is my favorite girl. She will rub me the right way, and her innocence just turns me on."

John 3. "I'm new to all of this. This is my first time at a bachelor party. It's normal for a young guy to have his fun."

John 4. "When I was in high school, I never had any girls that liked me. I hate all of these girls in the industry. They are all sluts and whores. But that's why I like 'em. I just don't give a shit who they are."

John 5. "I love to look at naked women – men need variety and this industry can provide just that."

John 6. "All my money goes to this industry. I'm a compulsive sex addict. I spend it on every girl I see, subscribe to the websites and watch porno all day long on the pay per view channel."

That is just a taste of what's out there. Now let's look at the other side – the industry producers, lawyers, models, hookers, investors, photographers, etc.:

Lawyer. "In my opinion, sex, fantasy, the whole industry is protected by the First Amendment rights." "I support it."

Hooker 1. "The money is great. We can retire off this biz. I like the sex."

Hooker 2. "I want to get out of this. I just don't know how. I've been doing this business for so long."

Hooker 3. "It's all fantasy. It's all an act. After I'm done working, I just go home to my boyfriend who doesn't have a clue."

Video Producer. "I love making films, I never get bored. I'm working on a new batch of volumes as we speak."

Photographer. "It's a shady business, hard people, you need to watch your back. Everyone is out for something."

So there you go. I hate to spoil some of the fun, but I write and that's part of my job. I probably get off with writing just as much as anyone that love's sex would get off their own horny instinctual behaviors. But my added two cents have been blogged. The fantasy, illusion, the sexual appeal can be whatever you make it out to be. There are many sides to the industry, but after all we do need to keep in mind that it's not real people, it's by far from a real life.

When it's all over with, when you've visited the strip clubs and had your $50 lap dance in 'Vegas with the "Double D" dancer with the five inch heels, you have just been in the wonderful realm of fantasy. I know most of us already know this but it's very, very easy to get carried away, caught up in this whole illusion of sex, naked women, money and the over-hyped media of the sex biz. Just remember to stay true to your roots. It's okay to have a little fun here and there, it's all right to look at the naked ladies and have a hard on, but remember that this is a very hard fantasy world to live in.

Fantasy loves real people. It will suck you right in and never try to let you go. Real people love the allure, the appeal of escaping to a "fantasy island." But when you think about it, it is full of tricks and it's so easy for one to get disillusioned in it all. I'd escape from it while there is still time. The business has made a lot of people filthy rich, and people have found solitude with escaping reality to fantasy. The business has also caused a lot of broken relationships, lawsuits and screwed up souls, lost in limbo. Lost in limbo in fact for years and years. It's saddening, it's exciting, it's fantasy, it's real, it's flashy, trashy, money, filthy and so on. It's a whole gambling game. Fantasy sex clicks with all the other vices. Just be careful not to fall too far into the trap. Hauntingly so, you may never find yourself able to get back out.

So, what do all of you think?


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