Home > Features > Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry • Bookmark   • Newsletters   • Register Search Options

FEATURE

Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry

Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry

March 21, 2007
Text size: 
Get XBIZ News
XBIZ Research
Will virtual reality boost the paysite market?
Yes, it will soon
  39.66%
Yes, but in a few years
  36.87%
No
  23.46%
Out of 179 votes. Results based on votes submitted by members of XBIZ.net social network.
As you well know, a porn teen and an actual teen are rarely the same thing, but that is a problem that is too big for us to tackle.

That is why we at Gram Ponante Towers, Rotisserie, Clambake, Crematorium, and Salmon Ladder are proud to announce the International MILF Registry, which will solve the "What is a MILF?" question for consumers.

After lengthy discussions with porn luminaries, clergy, and The Hague, we have determined a set of MILF standards;

1. In order to be considered a MILF, a woman must have physically borne a child, whether vaginally or by cesarean section. Children born from the forehead, as was Jupiter from Saturn's, also qualify, in addition to immaculately-conceived children, provided they actually exit the mother.

2. All parties must be cognizant of the MILF's motherhood, whether she be 18 or 50. This can be established contextually by dialogue like "So you're my hot daughter's boyfriend?" or "So you go to school with my Joey?" or "Do you want to see where Tammy came from?" or "De Bella, you're embarrassing your daughter."

From now on, only movies whose "MILF"s meet the above criteria can receive this coveted and epilepsy-triggering seal of approval.

This "first-time MILFs" movie, asserting actual motherhood, seems on the level. Until proven otherwise I will grant it a seal. If I find out different May God Have Mercy on Its Soul.

Now if we can only do something about the Asians...

Previously: VCA embraces pixelation; Because I could not wait for MILFs; Michelle Aston will eat your girlfriend like a chicken sandwich; Your mother should probably be arrested; Your week in MILFs; Cheyenne Hunter: the loneliness of the long-distance biker-MILF


PROFILES & BIOS

2017 XBIZ Webstar of the Year Harriet Sugarcookie Dares to Evolve

Start with a heaping helping of charming personality, sprinkle a dash of delightful quirky antics, then lather the final product with a whopping dollop of sensual sweetness… and what do you get?... More »

2017 XBIZ Trans Performer of the Year Reigns Supreme

It’s easy to see Aubrey Kate now — the modelesque, blonde bombshell — and dismiss her recent awards in the erotic arts as inevitable. It’s easy to say that she was simply born with... More »

WIA Profile: Carmen Miller-Branch

Each month, industry news media organization XBIZ spotlights the career accomplishments and outstanding contributions of Women in Adult. WIA profiles offer an intimate look at the professional lives of... More »
XBIZ NEWSLETTERS
Stay informed of the latest industry developments. Get XBIZ newsletters delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today!
Enter email address:

* To manage existing subscriptions click here.






POPULAR PRODUCTS & SERVICES
Submit your press release to
multiple news outlets with 1 click.
Subscribe to RSS news feeds or
add free content to your website.
Access XBIZ news and articles
with your mobile device.
Access the latest issues of the industry's leading trade publications in digital form. View online or download for offline viewing.

UPCOMING EVENTS

XBIZ Retreat

May 30 - Jun 03
Miami, Florida

XBIZ Miami 2017

May 30 - Jun 02
Miami, Florida

XShow 18+ 2017

Jun 01 - Jun 03
Moscow, Russia

Cam Summit

Jun 02 - Jun 04
Lloret de Mar, Spain
Everyday thousands of business professionals browse XBIZ's industry directory for quality products and services. Not listed yet? Your company could be losing potential new business. Submit your company today!
Use XBIZ RSS feeds to stay informed of the latest industry developments or as a content syndication tool for your website!