Home > Features > Pirates: "For the love of God let me die." • Bookmark   • Newsletters   • Register Search Options

FEATURE

<i>Pirates</i>: "For the love of God let me die."

Pirates: "For the love of God let me die."

January 2, 2007
Text size: 
Get XBIZ News
XBIZ Research
Will virtual reality boost the paysite market?
Yes, it will soon
  39.66%
Yes, but in a few years
  36.87%
No
  23.46%
Out of 179 votes. Results based on votes submitted by members of XBIZ.net social network.
Digital Playground's Pirates has received its 40th award, most recently from the euthanasia-phobic country/continent combo of Australia, thus cruelly extending the life of the movie through a proven but inhumane cocktail of awards and press releases. "Thank you for this award, Australasia," a weeping Pirates breathed into a microphone while mournful digeridoos played in the background and kangaroos were shot in the dusty street. "Now would you please kill me?" The answer was a resounding No, as both the continent of Atlantis and the lost cities of the Incas seemed intent on resurfacing to honor the movie, filmed 300 years ago on tape washed in martyrs' blood. "Pirates has been a milestone to the adult video industry worldwide," shrieked immortal Pirates star Jesse Jane. "As this movie has become more popular and visible internationally, our industry has gained acceptance and as a result, it is more accepted as a legitimate source of entertainment." "LEGITIMATE SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT," affirmed Teagan Presley. "BRAINS," added some zombies. The Australian Adult Industry Awards granted its inaugural International Hall of Fame prize to Pirates director Joone, who carefully kept a lit cigarette away from Pirates' oxygen machine during the ceremony. Not broadcast was the following exchange: Joone: ... to the adult community, thank you. What? Pirates: ...the gun. In my mouth. And shoot me. Joone: Oh no no no. You won't die until Blu Ray does.

Pirates is scheduled to receive 14 more awards in December, including the American Paraffin Society's Ugalgie Medal for best use of a candle. In January, Pirates will host the AVN awards down the street from the theatre that will stage the Las Vegas cabaret version of the movie, starring Cathy Rigby.

Previously: New Pirates cover released; How I saved Digital Playground; You yell "Shark"; Pirates to receive G rating

See also: Digital Playground, Compassion and Choices


LEGAL PERSPECTIVES

Data Privacy Is Tightening Up in the E.U.

Have you begun preparing for GDPR? If you are like most, you haven’t even heard of GDPR, but also if you are like most, it is going to affect your business, starting May 25, 2018. The GDPR, or General... More »

Preventing Legal Problems Before They Start

Dentists typically recommend that a person’s teeth be cleaned every six months and that oral X-rays be taken at least once every year. Internists recommend that a person receive a physical examination... More »

Could Adult Content Be Banned?

Earlier this month, I met with the Free Speech Coalition’s board of directors for our annual review. Despite the headwinds our industry faces, politically and economically, we are, as an organization,... More »
XBIZ NEWSLETTERS
Stay informed of the latest industry developments. Get XBIZ newsletters delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today!
Enter email address:

* To manage existing subscriptions click here.






POPULAR PRODUCTS & SERVICES
Submit your press release to
multiple news outlets with 1 click.
Subscribe to RSS news feeds or
add free content to your website.
Access XBIZ news and articles
with your mobile device.
Subscribe to XBIZ Premiere magazine, the industry's leading adult retail trade publications, delivering the most timely and comprehensive business news and information to producers and retailers of adult products.

UPCOMING EVENTS

XBIZ Retreat

May 30 - Jun 03
Miami, Florida

XBIZ Miami 2017

May 30 - Jun 02
Miami, Florida

XShow 18+ 2017

Jun 01 - Jun 03
Moscow, Russia

Cam Summit

Jun 02 - Jun 04
Lloret de Mar, Spain
Everyday thousands of business professionals browse XBIZ's industry directory for quality products and services. Not listed yet? Your company could be losing potential new business. Submit your company today!
Use XBIZ RSS feeds to stay informed of the latest industry developments or as a content syndication tool for your website!