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"I'm your <i>secretary</i>."

"I'm your secretary."

October 23, 2006
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Throughout history, women have been able to hide their beauty with nothing but glasses and by keeping their hair up.

Not only does this fool the men they crave but it also fools themselves. How many times does the bespectacled woman's sassy girlfriend require a montage sequence to 1. remove the glasses and 2. remove the single pin holding the hair back to reveal a hot babe?

It happened, like, six times in the Bible.

Anyway, Smash Pictures is releasing its movie Secretary's Day with the following press release:

Do you ever walk into your office in the morning and notice that your secretary looks really gorgeous even with her hair pulled back and with those thick glasses hanging on her nose?

What if you had the balls and decided today, Secretary’s Day was the perfect day to lift up her skirt and bang her juice box right there in the office? Maybe you’d get lucky and she wouldn’t turn you down for some good old fashioned desktop office sex that you really deserve.

Getting into the mind of the porn consumer is what people like PR Guy Jeff Mullen strive for.

In this press release he addresses the fantasy that behind every available but frumpy girl (thus making her accessible to you but boosting your self esteem because you can reject her based on her frumpitude) is an available sex badger that only you can discover. Then, all you have to do to hide her from your greedy friends is to put her glasses back on.

Further, Mullen empowers the consumer base by suggesting that it get a pair and bend its office staff over the neglected IBM Selectric table. You know they're not wearing panties. The press release reveals an America chock full of women who need to be freed from repression by their wise bosses. Mullen also hints that the typing pool should not deny you your right.

Smash Pictures knows that office rape can be problematic, but it's not rape if your boss deserves to lift up your skirt and bang your juice box.

Secretary's Day stars Lindsay Meadows, Tory Lane, Alektra Blue, Samantha Sin, and Jordana James.

View a trailer here.

Previously: Six in Me

See also: Smash


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