educational

Abuse in the Work Place

I was visiting with an old friend the other day, and found out that he, like so many of us, is on the brink of a 'major work burn out.' After spending some time finding out why, it was obvious that there seemed to be some serious issues with what he's supposed to be getting paid to do, versus what he's actually being made to do. After listening to everything he had to say, I thought it to be an important topic for all of us to get a little education on, and maybe learn how to find a balance between wielding the power, but not abusing it...

Pushing Too Far
So how far is too far? And when does it become abuse you might ask. For anyone who's been the boss or managed a company, they know that there is a very fine line between 'far' and 'too far' and any good boss or manager knows exactly how far to go to get the most out of their employees without pushing them over the edge. I've wielded the power a few times in my life, and found that the fine line is quite simple; as long as you and your employees stick to the contract. If there is work added to what they are already doing, understand that they had a full plate to start with, do not expect them to be able to fill more positions than humanly possible, even if they might be kind enough to lend a helping hand. A good boss recognizes the benefits to employees that go that extra mile for them, making sure not to expect more then they can give. Keeping an employee (that does his job well) comfortable and happy in the work place is a very important factor in your company's success, especially if their position is unique, and one that is hard to replace.

Balancing Power and Respect
Power! Everybody wants it, but very few understand that "He, who holds the power, is also held responsible." What I mean by this is that when there are problems, the person who takes on the position of power is also the person who has the responsibility to fix the problems and finish any unfinished business. This being said, if the business that wasn't finished was from an overworked employee, I would also think twice before pushing for too many answers on why, as the answer should already be clear. Respect your employees that give extra to your company, don't harass them when a break is needed for them to continue being a benefit to you.

Using and Abusing
Have you ever heard the old saying "Give an inch and they'll take a mile?" If not, then let me explain: basically it's what I've been saying all along, just the other way around. A smart employee will always give 100% to the company he/she works for, but if he/she is asked to do more then what their position requires, the employee will also be smart enough to know when the one who holds the power is asking too much. Squeezing every last ounce of energy out of your employees and discarding them like trash, when you're the one who benefits from all their hard work, might be a clever ploy to get to the top quicker, but it is an evil ploy of 'using and abusing' and one that holds uncomfortable consequences, I can assure you!

Deception
There will always be a few employees in every business that don't work well together for one reason or another, but sometimes this can get way out of hand — and this is where "deception" enters into the picture. It's sad, but true: there are some people (who probably need therapy) but instead, will have their therapy sessions at their work place, and if they don't happen to like you, they can make your life miserable and even go as far as working overtime to find ways to make you appear as though your'e not doing your job. Eventually creating enough doubt, frustration and confusion with your boss to get you fired.

When Does the Abuse Stop?
As I explained to my friend, "The abuse stops when YOU take control." Control comes in many forms, and understand that if you choose to work for someone else, then you have to accept the fact that you have to play by their set of rules — and sometimes that means putting up with more crap then normal. At the same time, if the abuse is too much, then you must draw the line, as sometimes the boss needs to know your limit. The only true way to have total control and stop abuse, is to own and be successful at your own business. Don't be a slave to anything in your life, because the minute you work for someone else, create debt and have an expensive lifestyle, you are a slave to it. Take control of your life — don't let it take control of you.

Recognition
Last but not least: He who holds the power should always give recognition openly and without restraint, where recognition is due (even if it is intimidating), and I don't mean a hug or a pat on the back. What I do mean is, if an employee has worked hard and given extra to your company, don't expect them to keep at this wonderful pace all while lining your pockets, and making you great forever, if you don't give them personal recognition for a job well done. My father taught me at a very young age that the way to the top is through a well taken care of, "happy" secretary, and he was right. He took extra special care of his secretary and in return his secretary took better care of him then my own mother did: He retired a very wealthy man, and his secretary retired with my father's full recognition of her hard work to get him to the top; and his secretary will live more than comfortably for the rest of her life. "Now that's Recognition!" :)

Hey, It's a 'dog eat dog' world out there, at least that's what I hear, but just remember there's also the old saying that "What goes around, comes around..." ~ are you ready to pay that price? Be good to yourself, and those that help you to succeed ~ Ayrora

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

How Adult Businesses Can Navigate Global Compliance Demands

The internet has made the world feel small. Case in point: Adult websites based in the U.S. are now getting letters from regulators demanding compliance with foreign laws, even if they don’t operate in those countries. Meanwhile, some U.S. website operators dealing with the patchwork of state-level age verification laws have considered incorporating offshore in the hopes of avoiding these new obligations — but even operators with no physical presence in the U.S. have been sued or threatened with claims for not following state AV laws.

Larry Walters ·
opinion

Top Tips for Bulletproof Creator Management Contracts

The creator management business is booming. Every week, it seems, a new agency emerges, promising to turn creators into stars, automate their fan interactions or triple their revenue through “secret” social strategies. The reality? Many of these agencies are operating with contracts that wouldn’t survive a single serious dispute — if they even have contracts at all.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Building Sustainable Revenue Without Opt-Out Cross-Sales

Over the past year, we’ve seen growing pushback from acquirers on merchants using opt-out cross-sales — also known as negative option offers. This has been especially noticeable in the U.S. In fact, one of our acquirers now declines new merchants during onboarding if an opt-out flow is detected. Existing merchants submitting new URLs with opt-out cross-sales are being asked to remove them.

Cathy Beardsley ·
trends

How to Handle Payment Disputes Without Sacrificing Trust

You can run the best-managed and most compliant website out there, but that still doesn’t completely shield you from the risks tied to payment disputes. Buyer’s remorse, an unclear billing description or even a simple misunderstanding can lead a customer to dispute a transaction. Accumulate enough disputes, and both your reputation and revenue could be at risk.

Jonathan Corona ·
trends

WIA Profile: Taylor Moore

With a 70-person team and a growing slate of tools for content creators, the Teasy Agency has developed a reputation for putting talent first. That commitment owes a lot to co-founder Taylor Moore’s own experiences as a cam model.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

WIA Profile: Cathy Turns Creator Platform Experience Into a Model-First Playbook

As both a model and industry executive, Cathy lives in two worlds at once. “Since I do both things, I can act as the liaison between the model community and the rest of the SextPanther team,” she tells XBIZ.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

From Compliance to Confidence: The Future of Safety in Adult Platforms

In numerous countries and U.S. states, laws now require platforms to prevent minors from accessing age-inappropriate material. But the need for safeguarding doesn’t end with age verification. Today’s online landscape also places adult companies at uniquely high risk for inadvertently facilitating exploitation, abuse or reputational harm, or of being accused of doing so.

Andy Lulham ·
opinion

What Adult Businesses Need to Know About Florida's Age Verification Law

The rise and proliferation of age verification laws has changed the landscape for the online adult industry. A recent and compelling example is the state of Florida, where Attorney General James Uthmeier has filed multiple complaints against major platforms as well as affiliates accused of violating the state’s AV law.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Maintaining Brand Trust in the Face of Negative Press

Over the last year, several of our merchants have found themselves caught up in litigation over compliance with state age verification laws. Recently, Segpay itself was pulled into the spotlight, facing scrutiny over Florida’s AV statute, HB 3. These stories inevitably get picked up by both industry and mainstream news outlets.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

How to Switch Payment Processors Without Disrupting Business

For many merchants, the idea of switching payment processors can feel pretty overwhelming. That’s understandable. After all, downtime can stall sales, recurring subscriptions can suddenly fail, or compliance gaps can put accounts at risk. Operating in a high-risk sector like the adult industry can further amplify the stress of transition.

Jonathan Corona ·
Show More