Home > Features > Just How Paranoid Are You? • Bookmark   • Newsletters   • Register Search Options


Just How Paranoid Are You?

Just How Paranoid Are You?

August 10, 2002
Text size: 
Get XBIZ News
XBIZ Research
Will virtual reality boost the paysite market?
Yes, it will soon
Yes, but in a few years
Out of 179 votes. Results based on votes submitted by members of XBIZ.net social network.

" ...relinquishing control in one area frees you to put more energy and focus into the parts of your life and business in which you can have a real and positive impact. "

Having worked in this industry for a few years, I have noticed the huge, dark cloud of paranoia that surrounds it like a Hurricane about to hit. In my opinion, I think the problem stems from too much time talking about the negative things that 'could' happen because of all who frown on this industry, instead of working on how we can take our businesses, and put them to positive use.

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide
So why the paranoia? First of all, we know that to even mention the word "Porn" to most people could cause emotional confrontation (something that most people hate). This leads to feelings of disappointment, anger, disgust, and violence; the list goes on and on, often leaving us to feel that we are not accepted (which is something else that most people hate.)

Hopefully, when you decide to enter this industry, you already know the issues that could arise, and are comfortable and secure enough with 'who you are' that no matter what issues surface, you don't waste valuable time hiding from them, and instead find a positive solution.

Conjuring: The Mind is a Powerful Thing
Believe it or not, if you're focused on your fears, then that is what you will create. The word I like to use for this is "Conjuring," because when a person gets themselves started on something they fear, they tend to get all worked up, building on it until the only thing left to do is make it happen. Some people are so codependent in this regard that it becomes like a food that they feed off of on a regular basis.

Stopping this negative conjuring can leave you feeling out of control and very vulnerable, but vulnerability doesn't have to be negative, it can actually make you feel liberated when you realize you are no longer in control of a situation, allowing for someone else to take on the responsibility. Besides, relinquishing control in one area frees you to put more energy and focus into the parts of your life and business in which you can have a real and positive impact.

Putting Safety First: Creating a Fortress
Don't look for problems that don't exist. Learn from other's mistakes and focus on what you can do to keep the problems that others have dealt with in their businesses from happening to you. Continue to learn. Use these articles, advice, message boards, and seminars, etc. as your tools to build an indestructible wall of security that will protect you and your business from any of life's little mishaps that 'could' happen along the way.

Accept and use the tools that others offer as a way to build a powerful and successful business. Do not use other's success as a way to look at your own failures: we all had to start somewhere.

Through my own children, I learned that one of the biggest fears people have to come to terms with is taking the risk to continue to learn and making a mistake because of the risk. Trial and error are part of the process of creating perfection. Understanding this process, and having the patience to allow for the time it might take to create it (even if it takes a lifetime), is part of the experience, and one that should be enjoyed, and not feared.

At the end of your life, you should go out being completely satisfied with your experiences instead of being disappointed by them, because you let your fears stand in the way of what life had to offer you.

Think Positive: Listen with a Grain of Salt
Your first step in recovering from paranoia is to accept the fact that in any industry there are bugs that have to be worked out, and issues that will surface. Nothing is perfect, and all that you can do is your best, using the skills that you have, to make it as functional as your abilities allow.

When listening to others, and their amazing porn adventures, remember that they just might be blowing it out of proportion, as well as adding their own fears and conjuring to the story. If you can take it with a grain of salt, weed through the feeding frenzy, and get to all the good stuff, you're on your way to finding and creating your own success.

Don't listen to what 'could' happen and feed off of the world's negative attitude. Try not to focus on how others have caused pain and destruction to this world. Instead, put your powerful mind to the test and move your own mountain in a positive way. Who knows, maybe others will follow with a positive outlook, and set their fears aside to take a risk as well. ~ Ayrora


Cam World: Jim Austin Puts Stripchat / xHamsterLive on the Cutting Edge

Meet Jim Austin, head of business development for Stripchat and xHamsterLive. Austin helps run the two free online communities where amateur models — women, men, couples and transgender folk —... More »

Crave’s Jack Morocco Brings Fresh Perspective to Channel Manager Role

Jack Morocco must be in the right career. They’ve been hit on by Nina Hartley and already had to fend off Ron Jeremy, all in their short one-and-a-half years with San Francisco boutique outfit Crave.... More »

Cam World: Cam Star of Month BlazeFyre Loves to Be a Pleaser

Webcam model BlazeFyre certainly is looking forward to a fruitful 2017. She just moved into new digs this past month, and is eagerly anticipating another banner year as a Chaturbate web model. The naturally... More »
Stay informed of the latest industry developments. Get XBIZ newsletters delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today!
Enter email address:

* To manage existing subscriptions click here.

Submit your press release to
multiple news outlets with 1 click.
Subscribe to RSS news feeds or
add free content to your website.
Access XBIZ news and articles
with your mobile device.
Subscribe to XBIZ Premiere magazine, the industry's leading adult retail trade publications, delivering the most timely and comprehensive business news and information to producers and retailers of adult products.



Mar 31 - Apr 02
Denver, CO.

Eurowebtainment 2017

May 17 - May 20
Majorca, Spain

XBIZ Retreat

May 30 - Jun 03
Miami, Florida

XBIZ Miami 2017

May 30 - Jun 02
Miami, Florida
Everyday thousands of business professionals browse XBIZ's industry directory for quality products and services. Not listed yet? Your company could be losing potential new business. Submit your company today!
Use XBIZ RSS feeds to stay informed of the latest industry developments or as a content syndication tool for your website!