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Just How Paranoid Are You?

Just How Paranoid Are You?

August 10, 2002
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" ...relinquishing control in one area frees you to put more energy and focus into the parts of your life and business in which you can have a real and positive impact. "

Having worked in this industry for a few years, I have noticed the huge, dark cloud of paranoia that surrounds it like a Hurricane about to hit. In my opinion, I think the problem stems from too much time talking about the negative things that 'could' happen because of all who frown on this industry, instead of working on how we can take our businesses, and put them to positive use.

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide
So why the paranoia? First of all, we know that to even mention the word "Porn" to most people could cause emotional confrontation (something that most people hate). This leads to feelings of disappointment, anger, disgust, and violence; the list goes on and on, often leaving us to feel that we are not accepted (which is something else that most people hate.)

Hopefully, when you decide to enter this industry, you already know the issues that could arise, and are comfortable and secure enough with 'who you are' that no matter what issues surface, you don't waste valuable time hiding from them, and instead find a positive solution.

Conjuring: The Mind is a Powerful Thing
Believe it or not, if you're focused on your fears, then that is what you will create. The word I like to use for this is "Conjuring," because when a person gets themselves started on something they fear, they tend to get all worked up, building on it until the only thing left to do is make it happen. Some people are so codependent in this regard that it becomes like a food that they feed off of on a regular basis.

Stopping this negative conjuring can leave you feeling out of control and very vulnerable, but vulnerability doesn't have to be negative, it can actually make you feel liberated when you realize you are no longer in control of a situation, allowing for someone else to take on the responsibility. Besides, relinquishing control in one area frees you to put more energy and focus into the parts of your life and business in which you can have a real and positive impact.

Putting Safety First: Creating a Fortress
Don't look for problems that don't exist. Learn from other's mistakes and focus on what you can do to keep the problems that others have dealt with in their businesses from happening to you. Continue to learn. Use these articles, advice, message boards, and seminars, etc. as your tools to build an indestructible wall of security that will protect you and your business from any of life's little mishaps that 'could' happen along the way.

Accept and use the tools that others offer as a way to build a powerful and successful business. Do not use other's success as a way to look at your own failures: we all had to start somewhere.

Through my own children, I learned that one of the biggest fears people have to come to terms with is taking the risk to continue to learn and making a mistake because of the risk. Trial and error are part of the process of creating perfection. Understanding this process, and having the patience to allow for the time it might take to create it (even if it takes a lifetime), is part of the experience, and one that should be enjoyed, and not feared.

At the end of your life, you should go out being completely satisfied with your experiences instead of being disappointed by them, because you let your fears stand in the way of what life had to offer you.

Think Positive: Listen with a Grain of Salt
Your first step in recovering from paranoia is to accept the fact that in any industry there are bugs that have to be worked out, and issues that will surface. Nothing is perfect, and all that you can do is your best, using the skills that you have, to make it as functional as your abilities allow.

When listening to others, and their amazing porn adventures, remember that they just might be blowing it out of proportion, as well as adding their own fears and conjuring to the story. If you can take it with a grain of salt, weed through the feeding frenzy, and get to all the good stuff, you're on your way to finding and creating your own success.

Don't listen to what 'could' happen and feed off of the world's negative attitude. Try not to focus on how others have caused pain and destruction to this world. Instead, put your powerful mind to the test and move your own mountain in a positive way. Who knows, maybe others will follow with a positive outlook, and set their fears aside to take a risk as well. ~ Ayrora


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