You know, after being in this business for over 18 years after founding Grand Opening! in 1993, I am always completely amazed by all of the gizmos that are constantly being invented and released by companies around the world. Products to stick in any available orifice, stick on any available wet spot, slide onto any naughty bit that compels you to do so and believe me, nothing is considered sacred. Butt holes, snatches, mouths... what else is there? I haven't seen anything to create an ear-gasm but I have a feeling it's just a matter of time.
Because you've been a steady reader of my blog, you already know the different types of materials that toys are made of but that's not my issue with this blog. My issue is this: how many manufacturers actually TEST the toys they sell? Learn how they work? How ANATOMICALLY CORRECT are they? Given my experience working for a major IMPORTER (see previous blog), I can confidently tell you that the answer is NO. They, as well as many other major manufacturer/importers, look at products to determine their sellability and that's pretty much it.
For this product testing blog, let's focus on Rabbit vibes...
Now, what is it with the damned RABBIT vibrators that reproduce like, well rabbits. How many do we REALLY need? Anyway, looking at the several hundred that are out there, there's only a few that are actually anatomically correct. For example, I have worked with a foreign manufacturer who was stunned when I pointed out how close the interior G Spot is to the external clitoris and I am sure this is something he was aware of whenever he had sex with his wife. This manufacturer spoke very broken English but it didn't take too much to have him understand my hand signals showing him the position of the inside G Spot and the outside clit, while his wife was furiously nodding her head and smiling at me as if I had unleashed the Holy Grail of Female Anatomy. The toys that he designed were of the same design and thinking of so many other toys... that women always want long shafted vibes and we ALWAYS want one of those damn rabbits on them because we ALWAYS want clitoral stimulation on our long shafted toys. Well, not all of us do but that's another blog.
Let's play Mr. Science for a moment: if you want to really experience how far the clit is from the internal G Spot, here's something you can do as you read this. Make a claw shape with your hand, basically making the letter C with your thumb at the bottom and your fingers at the top (you can fold all the other fingers other than your index fingers for a better effect). Now, bend the first knuckle of your thumb and this is the general distance between the outside clit which is represented by the tip of your thumb and the interior G Spot which is now at the tip of your index finger. Not that far from each other, eh? Now go look at any number of those rabbit vibes and you'll see what I mean about how far the rabbits are from the magic G Spot stimulating twirling pearls (whether in a fixed rotation or not) or whatever the titillating, twirling, ever-amazing internal stimulation shaft gizmo that the particular toy offers.
There's just two rabbit toys that I have found that actually have it right. One is not even a rabbit but a dual stimulator that is the correct shape without having that cervix pounding, too long, "a guy must have invented this" shaft. It's made by Blush Novelties and it's the Beau Clit Stimulating Vibrator with Dual Motors that's waterproof, too! Now, if every toy manufacturer could base it on this perfect G Spot/clit distance, I'm sure there'd be lots more rabbits sold and a lot of them used more comfortably.
The other is the Silicone Deluxe Rabbit Pearl by Pipedream Products, which is one of my favorite toys. Here's why it's so great: it's a not-too-long silicone vibe with a section of twirling pearls that you can't see but trust me, they're in there. It has a rabbit, that, get this, is COMPLETELY moveable so you can put it on the shaft exactly where the rabbit will tickle your willing clit while the spinnin' pearls are gonna hit exactly where your G Spot is. Basically, it's a custom made rabbit just for you! (assuming you're a woman). But wait! There's more! (I told you this was my favorite rabbit) The rabbit has a removable small bullet vibe in its butt so you can have the bunny vibrate or use the small, vibrating bullet on its own, too. AND THERE'S MORE! The wide silicone ring that the rabbit is on stretches and is removable and becomes a comfortable cock ring that can be used by itself for a rabbit ring! And for those of you who like stimulating yourself mano a mano, you can loop the rabbit cock ring on your index and middle fingers, stimulate your clit with the vibrating rabbit ears and find your own damn G Spot. The only drawback is that it has a not strong enough two speed motor but this rabbit makes up for that in so many ways, including the button that reverses rotating direction.
Wow... thinking of hundreds of rabbit vibrators out there is making me horny. Product testing... it's a dirty job but I really love doing it.
Okay, this is one of my favorites for JOTB... (joke of the blog)
An elderly Jewish man comes back from an appointment and says to his wife "Sophie, da doctah tells me I got VD. Go look it up in the dictionary... I didn't wanna ask him what it was." Sophie returns with a huge smile on her face: she's beaming! She says "Hymie, Hymie! You have nothing to vurry about... it only affects the Gentiles!"
Rabbits and Anatomy... do you know where my Clit and G Spot is, little bunny?
Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.
More Articles
A Look at the Evolution of Pleasure-Enhancing Pumps
Even though the pleasure industry is famously innovative, most “new” products are still ultimately reimagined versions of previous ones. They expand on the core idea by introducing a new feature or solution that takes the original concept to a new level of sensation, functionality or convenience.
Platforming the Pleasure Industry With Our Collective Voice
Very early in my business career, I learned not to mix business with politics or religion. This was a foundational tenet that just made sense. For much of my career, that was easy. However, it has become increasingly difficult to avoid bringing politics into business.
The ABCs of POS Systems for Adult Store Owners
What point-of-sale system is best for your adult business? Figuring that out can be frustrating, since the numerous options and acronyms don’t easily translate into a clear checklist of features and benefits you can weigh.
How Pleasure Brands Can Leverage Strategic PR Amid Mainstream Media Layoffs
Thanks to the mainstreaming of intimacy products, pleasure brands can now gain broad exposure in all kinds of publications, from Cosmo to Allure to Good Housekeeping. Unfortunately, the economic uncertainty dominating the world and challenging businesses has hit the media sector particularly hard.
WIA Profile: Ruth Arceo
In the beginning, all Ruth Arceo knew was that she dreamed of being a buyer — but when the opportunity presented itself for a career in the adult world, she found she’d struck it rich. Arceo is the lucky lady who gets to pick and choose how to line the shelves at The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood, California.
CalExotics Founder and CEO Susan Colvin Reflects on Brand's 30-Year Legacy
Thirty years ago, back when there were only hard plastic sex toys in tan and black, Susan Colvin had a vision of what sex toys could be. And so she set out to create her own company, California Exotic Novelties, which for three decades has been a pioneer, continually reimagining and expanding the pleasure products market.
How to Sell Shoppers on Water-Friendly Toys
From soothing self-care in the bath to the invigorating spray of a shower, water can introduce new dimensions of pleasure, unlock unique sensations and provide a sensual backdrop for intimate exploration.
Why BDSM Furniture and Sex Machines Make an Ideal Match
For BDSM enthusiasts and curious newbies alike, a big part of the fun is discovering and exploring exciting new sensations and scenarios. One way to level up is by combining or layering pleasures you already enjoy, and one surefire way to do that is with BDSM furniture.
Tips for Boosting Ecommerce Revenue With Behavioral Insights
At our marketing agency, we focus on using real data to make better decisions for our clients. We believe every action a visitor takes on a website can tell us something important. This helps us shape our strategies and assist our clients in turning casual website visitors into loyal customers.
A Look at the Do's and Don'ts of Gift-With-Purchase Promos
Imagine you’re at a store, deciding between two products with similar packaging, features and pricing. You’re not predisposed toward either brand and you haven’t seen any reviews — but one of them offers, “Free gift with purchase!” Does that win you over?
