Home > Features > Penile Implants • Bookmark   • Newsletters   • Register Search Options

FEATURE

Penile Implants

Penile Implants

July 31, 2009
Text size: 
Get XBIZ News
XBIZ Research
Will virtual reality headsets like the Oculus Rift revolutionize adult entertainment?
Yes
  54.39%
No
  45.61%
Out of 114 votes. Results based on votes submitted by members of XBIZ.net social network.

" Thanks to the magic of technology, dicks appear to be more monstrous than ever "

It's kind of like a horror movie. Invasion of the Implants. Penises in porn are getting noticeably smaller and decidedly more flaccid than they used to be... despite the many enhancers and enlargers now available to the vertically-challenged. I mean this metaphorically, of course. Thanks to the magic of technology, dicks appear to be more monstrous than ever, but it's an illusion; the boys attached to the rods have shrunk to the size of chickpeas. Real men are being filtered out, which is a shame since it is a known fact that a dick on a real man looks significantly more impressive than a dick on a wannabe man.

In business as in the movies, it's the same thing. Instead of men with brains and passion, able to walk, think and act for themselves, the industry is being taken over by pubescent vampires who believe that a reflection is the same thing as the object being reflected. These lovers of nothing literally do not have the conviction of their own lives, and exist only to acquire by stealth — or stealing — what others obtain honestly. They suck ideals as greedily as they do ideas from the marrow of those who actually idealize ideas, and build Potemkin companies in place of brick and mortar edifices that can withstand the shake and rattle of an economic downturn.

What I love best about these boneless wonders is not only the fact that they have no bones to speak of, but how they bitch and whine at the slightest disparagement of their bullshit business-models. Nothing is as amusing — in a sick way — as when they take to the boards like swarms of emasculated tsetse flies (picture that!) to defend the indefensible. Pre-checked cross-sales, for instance: Talk about a ball-less way to make a living!

I have immeasurably more respect for the lowliest street-hooker on the planet than I do for the parasites who trick their way into solvency by hoodwinking people who are actually pulling out their cards online to spend with them — the same people who would snatch and swindle as much money from that card as they can get their filthy lousy hands on. Who would do such a thing and then actually have the gall to defend the practice in public as reasonable? Because scammers in the mainstream do it? Because, if you don't do it someone else will? These are excuses? They're actually confessions.

Unfortunately, this is the level to which we have sunk, but the picture gets even worse. The very institutions within the industry that are positioned to do, or at least say, something about the descent into petty corruption, are fatally silent and in many cases complicit with a behavioral trend that is bringing the industry to its knees. It's nothing short of scandalous, but even that is exaggerating the potency of the bleating sheep who now aspire to porn mogul status. Nothing but little boys with wet dreams, if you ask me: Sullen scavengers of the soul, and not what the industry needs as it struggles to once again find itself.

If this is its future, anyone with a modicum of guts has got to be depressed. I like to think that in its heyday, the industry was populated by people who actually could look you in the face, who stood behind their decisions and who actually believed in something, even if it was a perverted something. Perversion, after all, is the antithesis of skullduggery.

Sometimes I feel like Travis Bickle driving my cab through the scum-soaked streets of the city.


EDUCATIONAL FEATURES

Retail: Fifty Shades of Anticipation

Retailers are in a unique position of having both the marketing support of major manufacturers and the ability to develop custom promotions specifically for their own customers. The upcoming Fifty Shades... More »

Dispatch From the U.K.: Deciphering the Jargon of New Regs

There has been a lot of confusion in the media recently concerning the Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 which pass into U.K. law on Dec. 1. This has been widely publicized as ushering in tighter... More »

Intimate Fitness: Understanding pH

We are hearing more frequently about pH in product advertising and in nutrition discussions these days, but many of us don’t understand the importance or the meaning behind “pH balanced.”... More »
XBIZ NEWSLETTERS
Stay informed of the latest industry developments. Get XBIZ newsletters delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today!
Enter email address:

* To manage existing subscriptions click here.






POPULAR PRODUCTS & SERVICES
Submit your press release to
multiple news outlets with 1 click.
Subscribe to RSS news feeds or
add free content to your website.
Access XBIZ news and articles
with your mobile device.
Subscribe to XBIZ World magazine, the industry's leading e-commerce trade publication, delivering in-depth coverage of the online, mobile and ancillary digital markets.

UPCOMING EVENTS

XBIZ.net London Gathering

Feb 19 - Feb 19
London, UK

QWEBEC Snow Gathering

Feb 20 - Feb 23
Quebec City, Canada

AEVC 2015

Feb 25 - Feb 28
World Wide Web

Adultcon Los Angeles

Feb 27 - Mar 01
Los Angeles, California
Everyday thousands of business professionals browse XBIZ's industry directory for quality products and services. Not listed yet? Your company could be losing potential new business. Submit your company today!
Use XBIZ RSS feeds to stay informed of the latest industry developments or as a content syndication tool for your website!