CHICAGO — Brian Sloan, inventor of the Autoblow 2 male oral sex simulator, has offered to pay Olympic Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte $10,000 to endorse the device. Lochte recently returned to the United States after a scandal in which Brazilian authorities accused him of lying about being robbed in Rio de Janeiro.
“It takes years of dedication and practice to win one Olympic Medal, let alone 12,” Sloan said. “So I see in him a man with qualities our brand stands for. I forgive him for his mistake and want to put him in front of an audience of men who admire him as the champion he is to help us promote the champion of masturbation devices: the Autoblow 2.”
Sloan said, “The Autoblow 2’s tireless motor exemplifies the Olympic spirit much as Lochte did while winning his medals.”
Sloan offered to pay Lochte $10,000 for a photograph of him holding the Autoblow 2 while smiling and pointing at it. Sloan would add a caption saying, “Autoblow 2: the masturbation device Olympic champions chose.”
A spokesperson described the Autoblow 2 as “the first robotic male masturbation device with the build quality of a kitchen appliance. The machine works with three sizes of interchangeable sleeves to ensure a perfect fit for men of all girths.”