opinion

Land Mädel

Gram Ponante
I consulted Porn Valley uberagent Mark Spiegler and Teutonic firebrand Katja Kassin (pictured) about something that has been troubling me for a while. Seeing how the Germans have been able to sum up in one word concepts that would require several in English, like schadenfraude (pleasure at someone else's misfortune) and fahrvegnugen (pleasure in the operation of a motor vehicle), not to mention wurstfest (a sausage party, like what sometimes happens at porn events), mightn't there be a tasteful phrase that describes someone like Flower Tucci, Lauren Phoenix, or Katja Kassin that doesn't have the excretory anticipation of "corn-fed" or "built like a brick shithouse"? The answer is Land Mädel or "Girl of the Land", which refers specifically to healthy farm girls, like Ellie Mae Clampett, Daisy Duke, but not, I guess, most of the victims in Silence of the Lambs. The subtle difference, as the Germans know, is that you would want to slip into one of the aformentioned people like a suit, but not wear them as a suit.

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