opinion

Whore Powers: Activate

Gram Ponante
Merecenary Pictures' SuperWhores 1 has been released in a glorious collectors' edition that will reveal Lexington Steele's true vision of the film. "The Man has kept me down for too long," Steele did not intone gravely, especially upon remembering that he is The Man. According to internal documents, the new version is "just better." "Why didn't I just release the good stuff before, instead of casting aspersions on the original edition?" Steele wept. The SuperWhores 1 Collectors' Edition, which joins similar amped-up versions of other Mercenary titles like Black Reign 1 and Top Guns 1, contains extended behind-the-scenes footage and supplemental material, though it doesn't include a refund certificate for people who bought the original, apparently crappier version. "Look, we just discovered this extra stuff," Steele did not say. "It's not like we planned to release a collectors' edition all along." The SuperWhores 1 Collectors' Edition stars Allysin Chaynes, Rose, Avy Scott, Bobbi Eden, Taylor Lynn, Vicky Vette, Sky Taylor, Julie Robbins and Cameron Cain with Ben English, Mike Stefano, Erik Everhard and Steele. Sharp-eyed fans will thrill to extended footage of Vicky Vette's crossing of the Paths of the Dead as well as Steele's confrontation with the Witch King.

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