opinion

Monday Is Pimp Day

Gram Ponante
So good to be back in Porn Valley, man. I feel alive and re-energized. Even the airline staff was extremely helpful (they should call it JetGoo). People just don't realize the tremendous contributions the adult industry has made to American culture. I pledge the rest of my life to rectify that.

Ah, screw it. I've always thought "rectify" was too titillating a word for its own good, anyway. For example, would I like to rectify Kami Andrews in the shadow of my Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers catalogue? Yes I would.

That's not true; we're just dear friends. In the wake of recent events in the Gram Ponante legal department, I will endeavor to qualify everything I say with a disclaimer.

For example: Flower Tucci can make things burst into flames with her eyes. (Disclaimer: she probably can't). See how much more fun that makes my site?

But I'm not here to talk about me. This is not a blog. I am here to talk about Jose Pusher. This young man has apparently acquired Lulu from To Sir with Love to shill his latest Pimping Adventure from Black Widow Media. She also appears to be standing beside a genetically-modified Academy Award®.

Does this mean that Jose Pusher has bigger plans for this Pimping Adventure?

"I'm very happy with the girls I have featured in this volume," Pusher said. "Jackie Diaz makes an appearance too, and though this isn't her first time on video, I did shoot her first scene in Pimping Adventures 1, and since then she's been in a lot of videos and Web sites."

What the hell does that mean? Hollywood has its eye on you, cryptic Jose Pusher!

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