opinion

Flower Tucci Admits Sexual Harrassment

Gram Ponante
When I tearfully accepted Teagan Presley's Best New Tartlet and Teen Cream Dream awards at the XRCO last week, someone kept pinching my ass on stage.

Because I am a professional, I didn't turn around to see who it was, fearing it might be Bill Margold or the ghost of Reuben Sturman (I assume if it were Sturman's ghost, however, it would have also broken my legs).

Flower Tucci admitted her crime at Porn Star Karaoke. She has agreed to seek counseling. She had been a presenter during one of the awards. Certain parts of me are at eye level to Tucci, and they present an hypnotic lure.

I asked her what the whole deal was with being sent home from Florida last month.

"My ass isn't too small," she said. "The guys at BangBros. said I must have lost weight. I was like, 'My ass is as big as it's always been.'"

"When you were growing up, did you ever think you would utter the sentence, 'My ass is as big as it's always been?'"

"No."

Tucci called the event "Bullshit" but was able to salvage the Florida trip by shooting a scene for Ass Parade. Here's what Ass Parade has to say for itself:

"Where all the big round asses are on parade! Assparade!"

I suppose at this point I could have taken a picture of Flower's ass. But what kind of person would that make me?

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