opinion

Buy Karina a Complete Shirt

Gram Ponante
Apparently, teens are the new MILFs (who, as I don't need to remind you, were the new Asians). I think it's great that today's teens (who, as you know, were yesterday's trannies and are tomorrow's cyborg pleasurebots) are finding work.

Smash's Teen Idol 2 features Karina Kay (pictured) and Jersey Jaxin. "Jersey's a little spinner and gets picked up hitchhiking, getting her hole tag teamed by two big dicked scumbags!" exclaimed Jeff Mullen's press release while dining at a trendy Hollywood eatery.

Who says today's youth are listless reprobates? Jersey's a little spinner AND gets picked up hitchhiking. I was thumbing back from rehearsing with my Kansas/J.R.R. Tolkien tribute band, Carry On Wayward Son of Arathorn, and believe me, I was the only big-dicked scumbag out there. No one helped poor Gram.

Regardless, "the movie is so good," Mullen continued, "you might yearn to date a teenager."

Good. Because I sure didn't feel that way after Capturing the Friedmans.

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