opinion

Porn World Shaken to its Core

Gram Ponante
Axel Braun, who once got his hands insured by Lloyd's of London so he could continue teaching the world how to make women squirt, has released a blasphemous video.

Internal Revenues not only replaces porn's superior sound design with the dance hall stylings of Alex DeLarge, but it also posits the heresy that women enjoy being ejaculated into, rather than having ropey volleys lobbed across their faces, necks, stomachs, breasts, hair, knees, toes, and/or ears.

We have come too far as an industry for this to happen. "It is an abomination," observed noted industry insider Mr. Gape Nanto.

The Internal Pop Shot, or "cream pie" is nothing but an achingly-clever way of saying, "I detest pornography and wholeheartedly agree that women's bodies are fecund temples to the gestation of children."

Like Morrissey, I'm so very sickened.

I would not be the least surprised if Axel Braun's real name is Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) and his father is not veteran porniste Lasse Braun but instead anti-porn crusader Reverend Cramwell Immodium.

I enjoyed working in porn. I really did. Now I have to go back to getting my blowjobs at the tire warehouse like the rest of the schmucks.

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