When the boys in Receiving delivered the Britney Rears goodie box/press kit to the penthouse of Gram Ponante Towers, Iphigenia Squirtz and I settled in for a long weekend of downloading Legs McNeil audiobooks to the Britney Rears-branded iPod, devouring the chocolate-covered anal cherries, and throwing gold "I Wanna Get" inlaid daggers at each other.
Alas, the box only contained the Britney Rears Wild Back Stage Sex Party DVD, a Jolly Rancher lolly, and a bottle of Sutter Home, the kind one finds on trains.
Iphigenia opened the wine, which came with a card reading "Until we meet."
GP: How was it?
IS: It was good.
I ate the lollipop which was tart per Jolly Rancher standards. It was also the same squarish stick-based candy that Ms. Rears is seen slurping on the boxcover. That was important. As Bill Margold is to whatever it is he does, so am I to continuity. As I reached the center of the Jolly Rancher lolly, I was surprised to find a chewy center like Blow-Pops of eld. In fact, it was exactly like a Blow-Pop. I will notify Acacia's lawyers.
Porn Valley is not in the habit of giving goodie bags to journalists. Only listless blowjobs. That is why I herald the Britney Rears goodie bag as a step in the right direction for our industry.
Thanks, Britney Rears!