opinion

Michelle Aston's mixed messages

Gram Ponante
We expect our porn stars to be straightforward and to not play games with us. This is the mandate with which they were created by the United Nations in 1948.

Observe, then, Michelle Aston, who says she wants to blow you and says she has a vagina but in fact would rip your nuts off on her nailed collar if ever she were to fellate you. In addition, she mislabels her moneygrotto as if to scare off speculators.

I whipped out my six-pound DSM-IV and diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder on the spot.

"Fucking on film is a goddamn sacred trust," I said.

Previously: Pabst Blue Ribbon night with the steveporn kids; Michelle Aston will eat your girlfriend like fried chicken

See also: Michelle Aston

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