opinion

Riley Shy deserves medal, towel

Gram Ponante
Todd Todd is a photographer who pretty much knows everybody in the adult business. When I was new to AVN in 2003, he took me around the convention floor and introduced me to every performer in the building, including these ladies.

Photographers need to keep the action moving so their subjects don't get bored or self-conscious, so it is interesting listening to the diminutive and white Todd Todd chatting amiably with O.G. Mudbone, possessor of a 14" cock and a mouth full of silver (which I guess the former can almost reach); Todd Todd's patter becomes blacker by the minute as Mudbone cruises a Valley neighborhood looking for Riley Shy in Pariah Pictures' Freaks of Cock 2.

None of the tiny white women exposed to these Gram-hammers-gone-dark is herself a freak, so I guess the title must refer to the cocks themselves, only slightly smaller than mine, which is the size of a bus you'd drive senior citizens to the casino in.

But where I usually get tired of Chatty Cathy gonzo directors, it is fun listening to the interaction between T2 and his male talent. Upon walking into Shy's yard, Mudbone looks at a tree and says, "That tree looks like it has asses all over it."

After this, things go from pleasant to surreal. Not only is Riley Shy astounded by the size of this guy, America itself is astounded at the amount of the nut Mudbone busts on her face. I hope that didn't sound crude; there is really no other way to describe it. It would require an extra seat on an airplane.

Prior to it happening, Shy says with porn-standard bravado: "Oh yeah? You gonna mess up my pretty face?" and then, during the 30 seconds of unloading, she says, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

It is at times like this that I think I've watched something real. Riley Shy really made her money that day.

Previously: Porn of the Moment: "Cuckold" (fleshbot)

See also: FuckYouCash

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