opinion

New Porn Daily: Sand in the Cracks Edition

Gram Ponante
Maybe the official start date is a week off, but as there have been several days recently in which the temperature has been over 90 degrees here at the X-Whatever Empire, I am prepared to say that summer is here. Also: Global warming. Also: Spiderman 3 opened.

Above is Private's former contract girl, Priva, getting her parts sanded in African Temptation (you'd think that would be an interracial title, but it's not), which is part of the company's Tropical Deluxe 6 box set that includes only sandy interludes.

I would be interested in comments from anyone who has not had a disappointing time having sex on a beach. Porn stars, who don't earn that much money, should get hazard pay for beach work. In addition to the sand, they also have to worry about:

1. Vengeful lepers from The Fog

2. Those lobster things from The Dark Tower

3. Al Gore checking water levels

4. Interloping Adam & Eve shoots

5. Retirees with metal detectors

Even though the Europeans in the movie spoke English for our benefit, it was still difficult to decipher. Sample dialogue:

Guy: You are taking now the flying lesson?

Girl: Yes. Soon I will be able to fly around. I do not want to catch you with bad girl. (As if she might see them from the plane?)

Guy: No, no, baby.

Girl: I will being very mad.

Still, I guess the dialogue is better than a Bill Mullet press release.

Previously: Private introduces world's first hybrid synergy porn star; Sex City review

See also: Private

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