opinion

Al Goldstein: Excellent campaign website for a homeless guy

Gram Ponante
Screw magazine founder Al Goldstein has announced his candidacy for President in 2008. Currently, he is both the only Jew and the only pornographer running.

It is tempting to call Goldstein a joke candidate (well, it's tempting because he is a joke candidate); he hasn't filed with the Federal Elections Commission. But in Goldstein's declaration that he is not a joke candidate I'm reminded of when George W. Bush defended himself against detractors by saying, "I am a legitimate candidate."

Goldstein's website, candidacy, and cigarette money are all provided by Booble as a marketing ploy, but his site is actually pretty good compared with some of those of his non-competition. It says something (but what?) about the pool of candidates that a publicity stunt website is better than many paid for by the Presidential hopefuls. Look at Tommy Thompson's, for example.

Goldstein shares his views on gay marriage ("everyone should suffer") and the war in Iraq ("I'm against all wars"), but it is in a blog entry about strippers that makes Goldstein seem, if not a presidential candidate, then a likely contender for an AVN Insider column:

Men are predictable and can be played like an accordion and the women are great actresses. The guys get stroked and feel special and the woman makes money, which she probably gives to her longhaired hippie boyfriend. I am bored out of my mind but the food is wonderful.

You might think Goldstein is the only person declaring a joke candidacy from the porn world, but Doug Stanhope, 2003 host of the AVN Awards, is also "running".

Goldstein will need a running mate who can court the South. It might as well be Seka.

Previously: I, Goldstein - Me, I just vomit; Mary Carey: Do cameras make us stupid?

See also: Presidential candidates, Goldstein '08

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