trends

Adult Retailers Embrace Role as Sex Educators

The sex toy industry has always been at the forefront of the most up-to-date trends. Sexual health and wellness is on everyone’s mind and when it comes to uncharted territory, retailers are doing something they have been doing all along — listening to customers, providing quality products in stores, and sex education to customers. We aren’t talking about just any sex education. Retailers are offering customers and their communities workshops and classes that run the gamut from basic blow-job techniques, role-play and costumery to classes in body pride and “Awakening the Temple Priestess.”

Some retailers charge a fee for classes and some are offered at no charge. One of those retailers is The Pleasure Chest. When The Pleasure Chest launched PleasurEd in 2008, they set a new precedent for retailers. The PleasurEd program has entertained more than 30,000 attendees with more than 1,500 classes and workshops in the eight years the program has existed in Los Angeles, Chicago and New York.

People are realizing that sex is a skill and that they can improve their sex lives with a little knowledge, practice and sometimes some toys. —Carlyle Jansen, Good for Her

“When we launched the program, we were interested in differentiating our program in two different ways,” says Sarah Tomchesson, head of business operations for Pleasure Chest. “We wanted to create a program that gave folks access to pleasure-based sex education at no cost. Keeping our program free is very important to us, because there are so few resources out there. We also wanted to create a program that reflected the diversity that has been at the heart of our company mission since 1971. We have always carried a very diverse product line and served a wide demographic and our sex-ed programming reflects that.”

Retailers keep an open mind when facilitating classes, lectures and workshops. Everything is pretty much on the table and nothing is taboo. Some of Pleasure Chest’s offerings include advanced blow job and G-spot class, while New Mexico-based Self Serve offers “Mastering the BJ: Interactive Skills,” “Sensual Bondage: Ropework to Enhance Your Sex Life,” and “Keeping it Hot in a Long term Relationship.” Recently, Self Serve started selling their blowjob class online via Vimeo.com (www.vimeo.com/ondemand/masteringbj).

In Oakland, the Feelmore store has taken a slightly different approach with their own brand of sex ed classes by facilitating classes with unconventional content and topics such as founder Nenna Joiner’s “Ask a Ho” comedy that she performs with topics of sex and safety.

“In the beginning we offered those tried and true sex ed classes such as ‘How To’ or ‘How Not To’ classes,” says Joiner. “But with so much information on the internet, there wasn’t an interest for the information from our base. However, if a notable person spoke, they were the draw and not the topic. After we saw numbers drop around historically good topics, we began to do something different by creating our own recipe for success. Topics that have been consistently high draws for us — ‘Ask a Ho’ which was facilitated by Sex Worker Outreach Project (SWOP) where we discussed the ‘Day in the Life’ (DILO) of sex workers for those that were curious and possibly ready to add that as their chosen profession.

Another is ‘LGBT Incarceration’ where correction and probation officers come to hear facilitators that are doing the work in prisons and county jail. To come up with things people really want to hear and that are socially relevant is important — not easy yet important. An upcoming lecture I am really happy about is ‘PreP and Women’ which is about women proactively taking PreP as they have relationships with HIV-positive individuals. That can be a huge game changer in all communities, especially in the African-American community,” says Joiner.

Offering sex ed classes presents retailers with multiple benefits — education for the customers and staff, customer retention and guerrilla marketing to introduce new customers to the stores, plus the general consensus of well-being for customers.

“I think that consumers are understanding more and more that sex and relationships don’t happen magically like in the movies,” says Carlyle Jansen, author and founder of GoodForHer.com. “And that if things don’t work or go stale that it is not just because they are not attracted to each other or are doomed to fail. People are realizing that sex is a skill and that they can improve their sex lives with a little knowledge, practice and sometimes some toys. Many therapists and sexual health clinics refer their clients to our workshops. Many people test out our workshops by coming to one, wondering what sorts of folks attend (people like them!) and what happens in them (lots of information and fun!) and then are astonished by how much they learned and sign up for four more.”

“Our classes and events are becoming more and more popular each year and our greatest marketing technique for our classes is word of mouth from a friend,” says Hunter Riley, sex educator and manager for Self Serve Toys, who has been operating their sex ed classes for nine years. “That is a promising piece of data for us because that means people are coming to our classes, having an incredible experience, and then telling their friends about it. And then their friends sign up.”

Classes are offered in some places daily, weekly and monthly and retailers rely on both experts and staff to teach classes and hold workshops.

“At Good Vibrations, people have always been receptive to sex education,” says staff sexologist and historian for Good Vibrations, Carol Queen. “It’s what made people trust us to begin with, I think. There is a new challenge, though, in that many people believe they can get any info they need online. They can, but if they don’t know something about their topic already, it is often difficult to tell if the ‘sexpert’ you are reading or watching on YouTube knows what they’re talking about beyond their own experience. Relying on your own experience is not sufficient to be relevant to everyone else.”

“I’ve been very lucky in my 10 years in the industry to work with very progressive, sex education-focused retailers and for 10 years I’ve seen full houses,” says Tomchesson. “I definitely believe if you build it, they will come. Start small with a class a month and make sure everyone who walks into your store knows about the upcoming class. It might be a small group at first, but word spreads fast and word of mouth continues to be the strongest recruiter for our attendees.”

It is up to retailers to figure out the formula that works best for them, but it’s clear that retailer-led sex education and wellness classes and workshops are a win-win for everyone.

“If retailers have quality content and instructors they trust to deliver the content, it is a huge value added to customers who might have questions about how or why people use sex toys, kink gear, etc.,” says Riley. “It also helps normalize sexual behaviors that some might be embarrassed to ask about. Most people don’t get adequate sex education that is pleasure-focused, so this is a great opportunity to catch up on that kind of education. Without education, many of our customers might still feel frustrated, inadequate or more because no one gives us these skills in a culture where sex is shameful and talking about it is taboo.”

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