opinion

VCA embraces pixelation

Gram Ponante
In a move lauded by industry watchers, VCA has left behind the porn trope of placing stars or splotches on box art genitals (also the name of my band) and replaced the controversial process with simple pixelation.

"I don't even know what's down there between that MILF's legs," said Loup Perch-Tounge, chairman of Chatsworth's Lycee du Skanque. "But now I'm curious."

Self-proclaimed America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante concurred.

"Pixelation has that scrambled cable channel appeal for me, which I find intensely erotic," said Ponante through a translator.

VCA has always been at the forefront of junk obfuscation, known since Michelangelo's time as Pudenda Obscura. The company has used stars ("stellation"), splotches ("basura"), and ghostly orbs ("poltergeisting") to comply with ever-changing community mores.

"I am happy that VCA has adopted a standard that perhaps the rest of the adult industry might follow," stated Dorg Perninfruir of the U.N. Council on Flesh and Turgidity. "Now if they could only keep their contract girls."

Previously: Cock-blocking with Gram; Judge: Google message not too small for the medium

See also: VCA Pictures

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