opinion

Kendra Jade denies bringing her ass

Gram Ponante
"I'm in a committed relationship," replied Kendra Jade to Star Magazine's inquiry about a perhaps-ongoing fling with Kevin Federline. The tryst allegedly pre-dates Britney Spears' filing for divorce.

I often call up Star Magazine to tell them I am in a committed relationship and, frankly, I think they're getting tired of my telling them about Jesus.

Of course, claiming a committed relationship is not really a denial of a fling, because a couple may be committed to diluting the gene pool rather than monogamy. So I turned to the poetry of Jade and Federline in order to glean some clues.

From Kevin Federline's "Popozao":

Toy all your thing on me, baby.

Toy all your thing on me.

Toy all your thing on me, baby.

Toy all your thing on me.

Gatinha sai do chão, vai descender popozão,

gatinha sai do chão, vai descender popozão.

In Portugese it means “bring your ass”,

on the floor, and move it real fast.

I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty–

want to know where I go when I’m in your city?

From Kendra Jade's website:

I left that city long ago , Queen of the cocaine wake-up call.

but that city loved me dearly because my fall was the fall of everyone .

Now they wave Hello! They wave Goodbye! To you now ,to you now..and to me.

In the harem of dark-eyed beauties ,your eyes seem impossibly bright.

I would never let them hurt you. (please don't let him die alone)...

All I'm saying is if they are not together maybe they should be.

Previously: Britney Spears continues to hold out hope of immaculate conception

See also: Kendra Jade, Kevin Federline, Report: K-Fed was having fling with porn star (MSNBC)