opinion

The possible Blumpkin

Gram Ponante
The facts are these:

The other night I traveled to Orange County, where I have heretofore only visited Disneyland (four times), turned down a job in Long Beach (once), been horrified by what passes for dinnertime entertainment at Medieval Times (once), watched my friend purchase a firearm (long story), and had a seagull crap on my head, through a car sunroof, on the way to San Diego (once).

At several establishments in the Greater Irvine/Newport Beach area I consumed the following: Margaritas (six), hard cider (one), curly fries (30+), steak & cheese Ciabatta sandwich (one), sushi and faux sushi (15 + pieces), Jager bombs/Deer Hunters (depending on where you're from) (2.5), egg rolls (three), and sake (1/2 bottle).

Because I was there for research in addition to consumption, when I returned I was a prime Blumpkin candidate. My question is: Is it a Blumpkin when one is just very gassy?

Previously: Speed dating with Angela Stone; Loving the donkey punch, hating the donkey puncher; It's the great Blumpkin, Billy Glide

See also: XXXUrbanLegends

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