opinion

Private introduces world's first hybrid synergy porn star

Gram Ponante
Private Media Group, the porn syndicate based in Barcelona, has jumped into the contract girl racket by engineering Priva, a Thai model who enjoys, according to press accounts, Thai food.

"Priva is 160 centimetres of petite porn star that is on a non-stop trip to the top," say Private scientists. "Originally from a rural village in Southern Thailand, Priva loves Thai food and BBQs, motorbikes, scuba diving and spending time with her family."

Outdoing even Digital Playground, which trademarks porn names and last year created Sophia Santi out of the rib of Natalia Cruze, Private has given its star a name that will with luck remind porn consumers of the company she represents.

It is like my breakfast cereal, Grampo, which I am at this moment enjoying at a trendy Hollywood eatery.

Little is known about Priva other than our shared love of barbecues and how she and Jesse Jane dream of electric sheep.

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