opinion

Vivid's Imprint-o-rama

Vivid Entertainment is launching Vivid-label, a new imprint dedicated to launching new labels.

Hot on the heels of Eon McKai's Vivid-alt and Tristan Taormino's Vivid-ed, the latter formed for a new educational line rather than making the company a past-tense verb, the company is clearly in the throes of what industry-watchers call Labelmania.

"Vivid is clearly in the throes of Labelmania," said a noted industry-watcher, delicately gumming a kiwi at a Santa Monica bistro for the deaf.

Vivid-label has already spun off seven new imprints, including Madonna's Maverick by mistake, said Vivid-label chief Jeff Mullen.

"We've got Vivid-ass, Vivid-gay, Vivid-plump, Vivid-urban, Vivid-extreme, and Vivid-nog, which will focus on holiday beverages," Mullen did not say. "Everybody's pretty jizzed."

But veteran adult business analysts, whatever that means, worry that the imprints might dilute or overwhelm the flagship brand, causing an identity crisis.

"I know all the goddamn adult business analysts in this town and I know where they eat," shrieked Mullen, sampling tapas at a trendy WeHo cafe. "Don't give me that bullshit about people doubting Vivid's proven abilities."

Mullen then sped off on four new Vivid rims, which mean something different in West Hollywood, let me tell you.

Taormino will also direct four reality-themed projects for Vivid in the coming year. "Couples already trust Vivid for erotic features," Thomas Pynchon's niece said. "Now they can count on Vivid for hot reality, too.”

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