opinion

Dildos and Freedom

Gram Ponante
When we're in the city, we do things differently.

My common-law wife and I are militia folk, and when life at Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary becomes too "progressive" we like to head out to our fortified Copper Mountain compound with its non-Pasteurized milk, subterranean storehouses, and pamphlet cannons that we can fire at zip codes in which Trader Joes are located.

That is why Pipedream's unveiling of a rechargeable Rabbit Pearl vibrator is especially exciting to the survivalist community and Ted Nugent. No more will we be dependent on alkaline from countries hostile to the Homeland.

Real Americans thank you, Pipedream!

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