opinion

Trannies and the Constitution

Gram Ponante
While it is shocking that trannies were once again excluded from the Super Bowl (aside from Ron Wood), Defiance Films, alone among the studios of its size, is attempting to rectify that by releasing the second of its Trantastic movies, subtitled Boys Will Be Girls.

"I am confident that this is what the framers had in mind in the dysentery-ridden city of Philadelphia lo those many years ago," cast member Cytherea did not say, not adding, "Would that the esteem'd Virginia delegation were here now to see me fondle these Brazilian man-nubs."

Trantastic also stars Roxy Jezel, Cindy Crawford, Dana Vespoli and Deja Daire. Here is part of the press release, which I copied longhand from iots case at the Smithsonian.

"This over-the-top sex fest features a stellar cast including cover girl Cindy Crawford who takes the plunge and gets fucked by big dick Cameron Cruz. Vanity pairs up with Roxy Jezel and they both fuck each other in the ass. Then Vanity comes back to fuck young one Deja Daire in the ass and then Deja returns the favor and pumps Vanitys asshole. Cyther! ea and Kayla Coxx hook up for a wild scene filled with ass fucking and squirting. And finally Johanna B and Dana Vespoli pair up for a wild all Latin sex fest with both fucking each other in the ass ending with Joanna squirting a hot load on her belly and Dana licking it all up."

"If this is the logical conclusion of 200 years of thoughtfully debated freedoms," said the casketed skeleton of Thomas Jefferson, desperately manipulating the barrel of a dueling pistol into his mouth, "then I regret to say we should have gone with Connecticut's original plan of a Portugal-style theocracy.

"How I hated Connecticut," he added.

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