opinion

Unexpected anal = 19 days

Gram Ponante
Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man, presented a Contract of Wifely Expectations to his wife, Ruth. She didn't sign it.

The document is notable for its concocted legalese, Curlz MT font, and thong requirements.

Among the services stipulated in the four-page contract were 12 nude photosets of Mrs. Frey a year. Frey was busted on child porn charges and for kidnapping his wife, who went to church without his permission. Ruth Frey provided the contract to prosecutors after her husband turned himself in.

In addition to nude photos, the "Expectations" laid down rules with regard to shaving, dress, whining, and proximity. Behavior short of total enthusiasm was punished with the loss of "Good Behavior Days" but, fair though stern, Frey rewarded "unexpected anal intercourse" 19 "GBD"s, which his wife could spend any way she wanted, pursuant to his approval.

It was probably during one of these GBDs that his wife escaped to church.

That people might look at this contract and dispute the letter but not the spirit concerns me. Still, I'm sure there are pictures of Frey's wife on the web somewhere; it is only a matter of time before they turn up.

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