opinion

Eva Angelina: How to dodge the draft

Gram Ponante
When I heard that Eva Angelina was joining the Navy, I was very sad. When I heard that she wasn't, I was confused. As a service to both you and myself, today I sat down with Eva and found out the scoop. "For me, it was always 'Navy or Porn, Navy or Porn'," Angelina said. "So, though I never stopped shooting, in late August I deecided I was going to go into the Navy, but I guess it wasn't meant to be." The issue was her tattoo, which reads "I will love you (Gram) always". "The Navy didn't want a tattoo that was visible through a uniform," she said, "So I started to get it removed. Then they said I couldn't have a tattoo that was visible while wearing a t-shirt. Then, because I didn't graduate from a traditional high school, my recruiter told me they wouldn't take me." "A traditional high school?" She explained it but I am dim. "So there was never anything about your porn career that kept you from going into the Navy?" I saked. "Only one of my recruiters knew, and everybody just said 'Deny, deny, deny'." Angelina said that at the place she went to get her tattoo removed (it's only a little faded now), there were people getting tattoos should the draft be reinstated. "So you can be in porn and get in the Navy but if you have a tattoo you can't?" I asked. "You can't deny a tattoo," she said. Finally, I was curious if her statement in Whores Don't Wear Panties, the part about starting blowjobs but not finishing them, was true. "Yes, it's true," she said. "You're a monster."

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