opinion

Two shopping days 'til Vaginismus

Gram Ponante
Doc (not a real doctor) Johnson has announced the Torpedo Rocket Vibe which, if you are a lady, you will insert in your vagina.

The five-inch vibrator comes with a suction cup base for hands-free enjoyment, so you can mount the device just about anywhere, such as a wall, a ceiling, the Space Shuttle, a camel, Karl Rove, the constantly-shifting Pacific plate, a trampoline, the stucco surfaces of Doc Johnson headquarters, a tranny, a block of cheese, a flying arrow shot at your vagina by a licensed archer (I'm a Sagittarius), an adorable bumbling puppy, an evil worthless cat, Taylor Rain (as long as it's not on camera for the next week), Bob Seger's tour bus, the notion of Justice, your opthalmologist's restroom sink, an ice cube floating in a bowl of holiday punch, a vacant menorah candle holder, a gravestone, or some public art commissioned for a slowly-revitalizing part of the city (I'm thinking about that weird thing in North Hollywood).

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