opinion

You Ought to Give Iowa a Try

Gram Ponante
You remember the strip club announcer from Atom Egoyan's Exotica? That guy was creepy. At the risk of sounding exactly like him, let's talk about Brianna Benton.

She's 26 and from Iowa. She looks haunted. Just in time for Halloween, then, Agency X, a newer company that opened its doors in August, is announcing this newcomer's availability for "just about anything".

In an industry which enMILFs anyone over 24, we're kind of wondering over here just what is Ms. Benton's story. Why the career change? This is usually the age when veteran starlets begin thinking about the next move, like "Should I date a porn journalist?" etc.

If I were a filmmaker, I would cast Ms. Benton as the eldest daughter caring for her abusive dad (abusive dads not too much of a stretch in this business), watching porn as her only means to escape a life of domestic drudgery and horror. Then she could be liberated by a bunch of bondage midgets in Cirque du Soleil outfits.

Naturally I think Michael Ninn should direct it.

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