opinion

Bring Me a Cheeseburger

Gram Ponante
Ever since Patrick Stewart introduced Salt 'n' Pepa on Saturday Night Live (Charlie Rocket R.I.P.), I have harbored the desire to hear famous people saying characteristic or uncharacteristic things.

You can imagine my disappointment, then, that in my three audiences with Larry Flynt, he did not once demand a cheeseburger.

"You! Bring me a goddamned cheeseburger made of gold!" he did not say, but I believe he might.

You and I might be able to realize my dream, now that Flynt has announced plans for a TGIFridays-style eatery on the Las Vegas strip. Though the Hustler Bar and Grille has a president and a menu, it does not actually have an address, which I think might be bucking a business trend. Virtual dining has never caught on here.

"The casual theme restaurants will feature Hustler and Larry Flynt memorabilia, sports on televisions and a menu offering more than 100 menu selections. Favorites include USDA Prime and Choice steaks, fresh fish, rotisserie chicken, baby back pork ribs, specialty salads, wood-fired pizzas (in select locations), pasta, sandwiches, burgers and mouth watering desserts. The interior will feature French limestone floors, hand-painted fabrics, contemporary lighting and an abundance of cherry wood," says the press release.

How does one have favorites if there is no restaurant at which to determine them?

"You! Bring me some goddamned spinach and artichoke dip!" Flynt might say at his imaginary resstaurant.

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